Parenting

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6
Sep 10

10 Tips For Raising Kids In An E-Mail World

Kids long for connection, and technology is fulfilling that desire by allowing them access to worlds beyond their own neighborhoods. But with this vast expansion of opportunity comes a need for balance and consciousness. Kids still long to connect in “real time” with those they love.

In an online survey I asked 1,500 kids “What do you wish your parents did differently?” The overwhelming response was not what I expected. I expected them to want more freedom, a later curfew, or another gadget. Instead, what teens said they wished their parents did differently was listen to them more often. I received responses like these: “I wish my parents really listened to me instead of just acting like super mom and super dad.” “I would love it if my mom was around more often to hear what was going on in my life. We rarely catch up.” These kids didn’t mean they wished their parents gave them solutions, advice or solved their problems. They simply wanted to be heard and respected. Something technology doesn’t solve.

Try at least one of the following tips sometime in the next week. You will begin to see a shift in everyone’s attitude.

1. Take time to connect as a family. Dazzling technology can diminish the worth of humans. Make your family time count.

2. Put the TV in a place that takes some effort to reach instead of allowing it to take center stage in your home. Your computer, on the other hand, goes in a central place so that technology is part of the family’s group experience rather than a solo activity.

3. Designate this week as “We Care Week.” Each family member does one caring thing a day for his or her secret recipient.

4. Frequently remind your kids how grateful you are they were born. Sounds corny but they NEED to be reminded of your joy in their very existence.

5. Pick one day a month as FAMILY DAY. Mark them on your calendar and begin planning now for all twelve magical days.

6. Don’t forget the wonderful habit of note writing. Leave some unexpected words of encouragement in a lunch box, under a pillow. If you travel, begin a postcard tradition. Send your child a postcard from each trip you take.

7. Learn something new with your kids. Approach ideas from their perspective.

8. Come up with a secret sign that means, “I love you.” It comes in handy at the bus stop or in a crowded room.

9. Ask your kids to write a letter a week — longhand. They can write to whomever they choose: family, friends, heroes, someone they read about in the paper.

10. Wish upon a star with your child. Listen to his/her wish.

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5
Sep 10

Teach Your Child Money Management

Some parents may disagree that giving a child an allowance can help them prepare for the day when they will be managing their own finances, but, if done right, an allowance will help them understand the concept of finances.

The wrong way to give an allowance.

My friend Lisa works hard. She gives her seven year old daughter five dollars a week. In return, she expects her child to keep her room clean and help around the house. I’ve never heard Lisa talk to her child about money. I have heard her berate her young daughter for mishandling money. This technique simply won’t work. Her child needs to be taught – not admonished.

An allowance can be a great way to teach discipline and responsibility.

Teach your kids how to count money before starting an allowance. Make it a game. Spend a few minutes each week. Maybe you can dump your change out onto the counter while you are cooking dinner and have your child count it. If they get it right, tell them they did a good job. If they have trouble counting your change, encourage them. Assure them that they tried hard, and soon they will be able to do it. Encouragement goes a long way to building the confidence your child needs. A child with confidence tends to work harder to meet their goals.

End the whining in the store.

I hate shopping with my friend Lisa and her daughter. Invariably, the daughter sees something she wants and demands it. Lisa says “no”, and a fight breaks out. The daughter ends up whining and crying and occasionally treating us to a full blown temper tantrum. We all end up miserable. I once suggested to Lisa that she teach her daughter money management. If she allowed her daughter to bring her allowance to the store, her daughter could learn how to spend her own money. Lisa just snorted and said that her daughter would never learn.

Lisa’s right. Her daughter won’t learn until someone takes the time to teach her – or until she grows up, moves out of the house and is forced to learn the hard way how to save and budget and understand how to make buying decisions. I would much rather have my child make wrong choices in spending a five or ten dollar allowance than have her grow up unable to resist spending simply because no one took the time to show her and encourage her.

Help Them Learn.

When my son was in high school, his allowance was enough to buy lunch at school and have spending money left over for other things. There were many Friday’s that he went hungry because he had spent his allowance and didn’t have enough left for Friday’s lunch. Occasionally he missed lunch on Thursdays too. The good news is: he didn’t starve to death. And he learned the value of money. He learned that if he didn’t pay attention to what he was spending, he would have to make a sacrifice. As much as it bothered me at the time to let him go hungry when he spent his money, I am now proud that he handles money better than I do.

Let Them Earn Extra Money.

I always found ways for my son to earn extra money. Snow needed to be shoveled in the winter; grass needed to be mowed in the summer. Either chore would earn him an extra $10. I also gave him incentives for saving. If he wanted a new bike, we would price it. Then I would tell him that if he saved 2/3 of the price, I would pay the balance. He became very conservative in his spending habits when he found that his goal was achievable and I was willing to help.

Let Them in on Family Budgeting.

As soon as they reach their teens, kids are able to understand and help with planning. A trip to the grocery store can involve them in making lists and shopping within a budget. The biggest lesson they can learn here is “avoiding impulse buying.” For new appliances, teenagers can do the research and read reviews. Let them watch you negotiate with salesmen on the price.

Watch Them Save.

When you take the time to teach your child financial awareness, they will show you how well they catch on. Don’t be surprised if you raise kids who manage their money better than you ever did.

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4
Sep 10

What Do You Really Want?

Remember the movie Minority Report? The Cruise/Spielberg collaboration a few years ago was a haunting picture of the future, a future that included the most personalized advertising possible. Whenever you entered a mall, or shopping venue of any kind, eye-retina scans would identify you. And then every sign, every screen, and every sales placard would call you by name, show you all the products you have purchased or perused in the past, and showcase all the new, similar products for you in your preferred color, shape, and size. Yikes. Thank goodness our world isn抰 really like that.

Hang on just a minute before you dismiss this merely as a thing of the future or a vision of a director; log on to amazon.com. On their front page will appear books and music that you have viewed in the past, along with similar products that other people with your viewing history have purchased. Sound familiar? The personalized advertising of our futuristic movies is already at hand.

Without the self-discipline to remain objective, see the advertising for what it is, and only pursue those products you most want, the onslaught of advertising will pale in comparison to the onslaught of personal debt and emptiness it will no doubt bring.

The way out is what Scott Peck called The Road Less Traveled. The road out is the path of most resistance but most reward-it is the road of delayed gratification. If you want to teach your children one skill to help them most in this life, teach them to delay gratification.

Careful here, this does not mean to deny gratification. So often we equate delaying gratification with denying any at all. This is what our kids pick up on when they ask us for something and we respond with, “We’ll see.” They always read that (usually correctly) as a not-too-honest way of us just saying no. At least that’s the way I saw my own dad do it. If we do this often enough, they see delaying gratification as a way of simply denying happiness.

This is not what I want to teach my kids, or my clients and readers, for that matter. I want to teach my kids that the key to life is to absolutely pursue what you want most, as opposed to whatever you want right now. Failure in life is whenever we neglect what we want most in order to get what we want right now. Think of eating extra dessert (what I want right now) instead of pursuing what I want most (a healthy, vibrant, energetic body). Think of buying the newest gadget instead of investing in a wealth-building asset (and then having plenty of extra money for even newer gadgets later). Think of telling your spouse 揑 told you so!?when they are clearly in the wrong instead of quickly forgiving and loving him/her through their mistake and walking alongside them as they repair the damage.

You want to equip your kids against the onslaught of advertising? Ask them continually about what they want most. Timing is important here. Don’t ask them about this in the middle of a commercial (your advise will literally be seen as the enemy to the endorphins encouraged by the ad); instead, ask them about their strongest desires in the park, over a card game, in the car, or at bedtime. Make every effort to listen without manipulating, a difficult task, to be sure. Every once in a while, talk about your frustration with your own lack of discipline and subsequent buyer’s remorse, just be careful not to turn it into a “don’t make the same mistake, kid” type of moment. In fact, occasionally, let them make that mistake. Experience is a great teacher. Overall, just gently, and calmly, introduce your kids to your own journey of discovery and life education.

And then hope they don’t watch and listen and learn as you scarf that extra dessert.

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4
Sep 10

Parenting Style in Todays World Must Include Financing

I am aware that being raised with certain parenting style by my single father, who was very conscious about his finances makes it easy for me to adopted, and, past those same financial principles down to my children.

I am sure that this will be harder for you to do, because you were not raised with the same money sense as I did. But, I am telling you, it can be done. my father did it. I have done it, and I am still doing it.

You know that I am talking to you, given the financial situation that you are in right now. You have the willpower to do this. My dad raised us this way, and my siblings and I still managed to survive. Obviously I didn’t die, because I’m alive to tell you this story. I thanked him every day for the way he raised us to be money conscious so choose I am raising my children with the same parenting style.

I’ve told you how well adjusted my children are. I’ve told you that they have their own tutoring business and are still in school. I taught them to use their skills and talent to manifest money while helping others. This is why I feel compelled to tell you that finance MUST be added to your parenting style.

I had a business when I was a kid, and now my children are teenagers who have their own business. I am not an expert, but I must be doing something right. It is all about repetitive teaching in the home. Don’t forget most kids have absolutely no clue about money and credit. This must be incorporated in your parenting style.

We are usually told by financial experts to save 10%. of our income. I would say put something away no matter how small it is, because, some people who are not use to saving will still look at that and say, I cannot afford to put that much away. Nevertheless, some people can afford to put away more that 10%. Even if you only put away your small change into an empty jar, it’s a start.

You’re probably saying you cannot afford to pay any more than the minimum payments on your cards. YES, can do it through discipline. Here is how. Start by cooking at home more, and eating out less, say once per month. It will benefit you health wise too. Instead of giving the kids money to buy fast food, make healthy lunches for them. This goes over very well with your children when you teach them the danger of unhealthy food. Let them know that you are all trying to get into health and fitness.

Build your credit score. You will need it so that you can buy your own home instead of paying rent. When you pay rent you are helping the landlord to build wealth. You need to build your own wealth. More on how to have more than one income.

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3
Sep 10

Parenting the Teenager

Parenting the teenager is not an easy task for most parents. It takes a lot of patience, determination and creativity. There may no magic spell to change how teens act, but you can change them through learning several approaches on how to deal with kids. When applied, you will be surprised at how good the results will be.

There are instances that you find yourself begging for something from your teenager. Say, you are asking him to go somewhere with the whole family and he refuses to go with you. Forced, as he gets inside the car, he starts to complain at how miserable his life at the present. This obviously will lead to a serious argument and you will realize how hard parenting the teenager truly is.

Almost everyone agree that parenting the teenager could be the most challenging part of a parent. You have tried everything just to please your teen but you have not been able to connect with him or her at any point. You sometimes would come to a point of asking yourself if you have done wrong and how this sweet little baby had turned into a hostile one.

As mentioned, parenting the teenager takes a lot of patience. But instead of getting angry or frustrated, as a parent, he maybe its better if you had just remember that these teens anywhere have different wishes when it comes to their body, their clothes, their friends and even to their lifestyles. Teenagers have started to reject everything that they relate from their childhood. They did not want their parents do things on behalf of them. They usually stop following the advises of their parents as they think that it would be just like as being a youngster that stops them from growing. The emotions of these teenagers might go down and up constantly while they are learning to get independent and trying to recognize and discover their individual personalities. So you can build a fine relationship with the kid, you have to realize your teens emotional changes. Give your teen a lot of responsibilities and let him make more decisions on his own.

Parenting the teenager will be easier, if you will just follow the five ways of building a good relationship with your kid.

1.Treat your kid like the person he is.

2.Always ask the opinion of your teen.

3.Don’t elaborate or judge any failures in life of your teen. Instead help him resolve the problems.

4.Always make your ear available to him.

5.Stay active with your kids life.

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2
Sep 10

Turn A Shower Into An Educational Game

They say education is a lifelong journey. Difficult to comprehend when you are at school slogging through lessons and exams but learning can be greater fun when turned into an educational game. Take a practical application and apply as many subjects that have been learned in the classroom.

This morning I took a shower, a frequent occurrence I hasten to add, but today I had one of those eureka moments – a tribute perhaps to that other rather more famous bather. Have you ever thought how much science is involved in the process of taking a shower?

To highlight the point I have used the following abbreviations as each topic appeared during my ablutions.

旴iology(B)

昉hysics(P)

旵hemistry(C)

昅aths(M)

旵itizenship(City)

昉sychology(Psy)

旼eography(G)

旼eology(Geo)

旹nglish Language (Eng)

The first question to loom up is why we take a shower? The experience is functional in removing body odours created by bacteria, (B) but also physiological as it induces endorphins that help wake you up and make you feel good (Psy) Removal of body odours also makes you a little less undesirable to others nearby ( City).

The water is fed from a header tank under gravity- thanks to Newton (P) – and as I’m a devout wuss, heated. Energy is consumed to heat the water by the conversion of electrical energy into heat P). This is measured in watts, the result of multiplying volts by amperes (M +P).

Responding to marketing persuasion I have been attracted to the delights of a power shower. The increased force (P) boosts the endorphins (B) but unfortunately uses 12 times the amount of water (Geo) than the gravity shower all of which has to be heated (P ) This is draining the natural resources, literally, of water and power causing environmental concerns (forgot to add the code for the environment – that’s an (E). The availability of water depends on geography (G) and the natural storage which locally are aquifers (Geo).

Being male I have a predilection to B.o.g.o.f offers ( buy one get one free) in supermarkets and anything in blue packaging (Psy) The resultant over purchase of needless stock (M) led to a ban by my wife (City)that means all shower products used have her stamp of approval and sensible supply level.

Today’s showering experience was a cornucopia of non blue ingredients. The shampoo promised a “Fruitful Infusion” to produce a “Dazzling Shine” (Eng) from the passion flower, patchouli and vetiver ingredients(B). The conditioner provided “Tangle free hair with uplifted volume” enhancing the dazzle effect by way of a “Citrus lift”(Eng) from tangerine, lemongrass and aloe vera (B) And the rest of the body below the head was in turn subjected to “Serious pampering”(Eng) from fennel (B) and sea mineral (C) based in a silky smooth shower gel (C).

The post shower application of talcum powder, contained talc mineral (C+Geo). The deodorant, promising to maintain a “desert – dry”(Eng) atmosphere under the arms (B +G) from aluminum zirconium trichlorohydrex (C). The aftershave contained alcohol ( C).

In the space of 5 minutes I had consumed 150 litres of water, 4 kilowatts of energy (P), half an alpine meadow of additives, and drained the lot away to the water treatment works where they will use bacteria (B) to break the ingredients free from the water, and off we go again.

Taking a simple shower will seem a lot busier from now on. My shower involved 34 applications of science and learning and a lot of fun to see how many links with education can be made.

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1
Sep 10

Have You Bubble Wrapped Your Kids?

This past weekend I painted my daughters room. I washed the walls, scrubbed and rinsed, painted all four walls… twice, only to find out that the colour was enough to set my nerve endings on fire! You’d have thought I’d have figured that out before I finished all the walls but I’m obviously colour challenged. So, I started again, this time with a new pot in a more subdued tone, one that had been duly sanctioned by my daughter. Terrific! However, as I waved my brush back and forth and listened to the radio, I caught a program that so mesmerized me that I failed to notice the paint leaving the end of my brush and heading for the carpet. As if I didn’t have enough cleaning up to do! I digress. The man being interviewed and forgive me, I forget his name, was talking about kids and how different it was to grow up today instead of what he described as the ‘good old days.’

Now depending on how old you are, those good old days will probably vary but what he was trying to get at was the difference in the way we lived back then and the freedom that we had as kids. He reminisced about his own childhood, leaving early in the morning, coming back briefly for lunch and then disappearing again, lost in a world of imagination. I had similar wonderful experiences, treading the back lanes of our village, traversing rivers, climbing trees and my all together favourite, spying on a house I was convinced contained a group of art thieves. Ok, so my imagination obviously wasn’t suffering but there are many kids today whose are and who are far too tied to the game boy or Barbie computer game than is good for them.

I don’t care what anyone says. These products kill imagination. They’re ok in small doses but rely on them and your child’s imagination will die off like a plant denied water. It’s the same for TV. I used to build forts in forests. Kids are now lucky if they can venture outside their own yard without mom and dad in tow looking out for their best interests.

There is a risk of letting kids explore. Nothing in this world comes without risk but I would far rather have my children experience life than grow up contained in a plastic bubble. The media has unfortunately helped to create a generation of parents terrified to let their children take risks because of the perceived dangers of the world outside their door. They can’t climb trees because they might fall, they can’t venture to the local park because they might be abducted. If you give too much credence to the these ‘might happens’ they start to drive the way you behave as a parent. They make you scared and wary of the world around you. Then the games that offer safety become so much more appealing. There is after all, little risk in the electronic world of Gameboy and Barbie. Hesitate too long and that’s all both you and they will ever know.

There is much to be gained from allowing your children to fully experience their environment. Parenting well doesn’t mean throwing all caution to the wind but it does mean evaluating activities on the basis of real risk versus perceived fear. As hard as it is, it is vital to let your kids dip their toes in to the world around them and learn the skills necessary to thrive as independent adults. Let them build forts, climb trees and scrape their knees. Teach them to trust their own instincts and evaluate their own risks and then stand back. It’s not easy but they will be forever grateful.

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1
Sep 10

Discipline But Be Loving

Listening, learning, and observing your children are very effective ways of getting them to open up to you when disciplinary action is require to getting your child attention. Giving your child your undivided attention by listening is the first thing you should consider doing when things become tensed; lending hearing ears helps makes disciplining become less painful for yourself and your child. Your child or children need to vent to release the tension 揵uild-up?they are experiencing themselves after a hard day at school. Every child has their side of the story of what took place whether at home or at school. By lending hearing ears you give the opportunity to analyze the situation at hand. Give your child ten to fifteen minutes to explain their side of story. This way you will learn exactly what took place after hearing what your child has shared with you. Most parents blast their children and give orders and strict disciplinary actions without getting all the details of the incidents that has taken place in their child lives.

By listening and learning about how they抮e day went, you can now observe and get a clearer picture of the episodes of the day your child is sharing with you. The more your children share with you the easier your job will be when deciding what method of discipline you choose to use. Discipline means 搕o teach and to train?let your children learn from their own mistakes. However you have to be willing to teach and train your child so they will not make the same mistakes over and over again. Your child will see you as being fair and loving while providing stern but loving actions to help strengthen their character and development. Disciplining your child is a must; however make sure you do it in a loving way. I抳e experienced this type of disciplining and it helps me as a single-parent to keep my child on the right track when she loses focus. Use whatever disciplinary action you feel will be most beneficial for you and your family.

By doing so; your child will always come and let you know how they抮e day went and share with you everything they really want and need to talk about. Open your eyes and your ears to hear from your child; this way you will be able to give correction and proper guidance. Your children are here to bring you joy. Enjoy your child or children and always be open to their 搘ell-being.? Your child or children are an asset to you and not a liability. Look, Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of your womb is a reward. Psalm 127:3. If you are struggling with your parental rights and responsibilities sign-up to receive tips on life in general and I can help you with your parenting concerns.

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1
Sep 10

Showing Your Inner Colors on Paper

A peaceful, productive way for a child to pass her time is a coloring book and a package of crayons; whether in a waiting room, in the car, at school, or other places. It can be a healthy imaginative release and, for numerous parents, a much-needed respite!

The net, activity booklets in dollar stores, family restaurants, or even sometimes at public libraries are sources of coloring pages, simple black and white drawings most commonly of cute cartoon characters.

Coloring pages are also very popularly showing holiday ideas, pictures, and characters (such as Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny), as well as biblical images, animals, educational themes, storybook themes, scenes in nature, and long retired cartoons. Even rudimentary objects have been changed over into coloring page format, like food, buildings and planes.

No matter what the theme or the picture, all a child – or the young at heart – needs is the page and something to color with. Pencils, crayons, markers, watercolor paints, chalk. There are coloring books made specially to be used with water-colors, that come with their own little set of paints and brush, and have thicker pages.

Best of all of course are free pages that can be printed out at home any time you like. There is so much variety obtainable that as long as they have their pages and something to color with a child will never get bored. For many children, there is no greater gift they can give to Mom or Dad than a picture they coloured all by themselves. Inside or outside of the lines, any page coloured with love and happiness is a masterpiece.

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30
Aug 10

Telling Your Kid About Sex: Why and How

Think of the moment when you saw your newborn baby for the first time. What a beautiful feeling! And with the passage of time the relation between you two has grown into a magical bond. Your innocent kid, you love him. You are ready to do whatever you think is needed for your small child. But why then when it comes to educating your child in the matters of sex you try to avoid your responsibilities? Why you want to leave it entirely on your small kid to find out for himself, in a world where his questions will not be received in the right spirit by other grown-ups?

Accepted, like everybody your own emotions come in the way. You feel embarrassed no end even when thinking about starting a discussion. But being a responsible and conscious individual you have the power to overcome your inner blocks. You have to recognize that power and use it.

And no matter how difficult it may appear at first, educating your kid in the matters of sex is not that difficult if you start early and follow a proper plan.

Starting early makes things a lot more manageable. When your child is of 3 or 4 years old his questions are easier to answer and these discussions of early years makes your work easy later on when your small kid becomes a teenager and issues become fairly complex.

Small kids are curious by nature; at this stage whatever you teach your kid learns promptly and retains it for many years to come. Utilize this impressionability of your kid. When you teach him about his body and various organs teach him about the sex organs as well. Hardly one percent of parents do this. But this approach is very effective and in effect allows you to start your kid抯 sex education without uttering single word about sex. And the terminology you introduce your kid to helps you in future to start discussion about sex with ease.

If you have not started telling you kid about sex when he was around 3 or 4 years you may face some inertia to start discussion. But don抰 worry; you just need to apply little innovative thinking to help your kid.

You may try the following approaches to break the ice.

=>It is just normal to feel awkward while starting discussion. To overcome this get busy with some household work –that does not demand 100% of your attention like cleaning your car or preparing a dish — while talking to you child. This will help you to loosen up while talking. The bottom line is: do something to keep your nerves from getting tight because of tension.

=> If you feel face to face discussion is too much for you, tell your kid about sex over phone. When you talk to someone over phone you face comparatively less embarrassment so you might find it easier to do. But here you have to be little imaginative to create a situation that calls for telephonic discussion of the topic.

=> You may also think of getting help from some relative if you really find it is almost impossible for you to do.

Use the final one as the last resort, because you can teach your child better than anybody else. And remember it is not difficult as it appears at first.

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