Parenting

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17
Jun 11

Temper Tantrums in 5 Year Olds – Stopping Child Fits

Children learn skills that will help them to interact with people and communicate effectively with them and they are developing at a very rapid pace. You may have noticed various behaviors at different stages of development. Sometimes these behaviors can seem out of control and you wonder what can be done about them. A temper tantrum in a 5 year old may be learning to manage his or her anger.

Anger management is an important skill that we learn early in life. If we are not given alternative ways to deal with anger and frustration, then it can come out in other ways, as in the case of children, with a temper tantrum. Your average five year old generally has pretty good language skills and can manage the day to day interactions with other children or peers as well as caregivers or teachers. At some point they may experience frustration that they cannot deal with and this will lead to temper tantrum 5 year old.

You can help to resolve the situation by sitting down with your child and asking them the source of the frustration. You can then deal with it by working together with your child to deal with the issues. Making your child’s home environment more positive will go a long way to resolve temper tantrums in 5 year old.

Have fun with your child, take the time to play with them and have some quality time. Create structure and routines and try to stay with them. Children need structure and routine to feel safe and happy. Make sure you tell your child that you love them, it is important that a child feels loved and wanted. They need to feel like they belong in the family and taking some time together with your family to go for a walk or play a board game after dinner are a couple of good ways to spend time together.

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17
Jun 11

Parenting – Six Tips For Effective Listening

Mark Twain once said, “If we are supposed to talk more than we listen, we would have two mouths and one ear.” Humans were not created that way though. Most humans have two eyes, two ears, and one mouth. That means we should be watching and listening twice as much as we talk. Silence at the opportune time allows opportunity for critical utterances to be heard and listened to.

Below are six tips to counter the six listening barriers. I have defined the word tip as any hint intended to promote success in any given process. Pay close attention, remain open-minded, and be sure to not only agree with what you read, but apply what you have read in your everyday life. One day you will need to teach your son these same things.

Six Tips for Effective Listening

1. Paraphrase: The first tip to effective listening is making use of paraphrasing. Paraphrasing means to recap what was said to you, in your own words. This is an effective way to enhance comprehension. When you are paraphrasing a statement, you are not asking a calculated question, but you are in some way questioning what you heard and expecting the speaker to correct any discrepancies. With a conversational approach such as this, there is no possible way to mix up what the other person has said to you. Paraphrase what your children say to you to be sure you heard them correctly, understood correctly, and are on the same page. Be sure to avoid interrupting the speaker when paraphrasing. Lastly, do not be afraid to take longer than normal pauses to gather your thoughts. What I mean is, when it is your turn to paraphrase, feel free to take as long as you need to gather your thoughts into a meaningful response. A mistake many people make is trying to speak without thinking thoroughly. When you are attempting to paraphrase someone’s thoughts, you need to be sure you know exactly what you are going to say. Do not get uncomfortable; just take your time, as much time as you need, and then reply with an educated response.

2. Remain open-minded: As an adult you will have to learn to remain open-minded to what is being said to you, especially to what your children say to you. Do not get fired up because your child said something that may have rubbed you wrong, but instead, keep listening. Why? Because your child will soon learn what he can or cannot say to you. A problem arises if you constantly attack your son for saying something outside of what’s conventional, because a time will come when your son will need to tell you things that are out of the norm. Whenever you are going to need to know the truth in the future, he will assume that he cannot tell you because you will just get mad at him. As a result, he will hold the whole thing in, and leave you on the outside. The end of this situation is that one day you will have a grown up child who you do not really know because you never gave him a chance to speak his mind freely. Remain open-minded about what your child says to you, and as they grow to trust you more, they will confide in you more during those tough situations life will throw at them. They will need someone to confide in, and that person will be the one who is willing to listen.

3. Hold your insights: Hold your insights until the child is finished speaking and then at the right time add your point of view. Here is a trick though: Instead of just stating your point of view, use a nudging technique. The trick is to use perfectly timed and precisely planned questions to guide your children into your advice instead of trying to beat it into them. Instead of force feeding advice that you know is crucial for the development of your child, guide him slowly into it. The child will feel resentment, insufficient or inadequate if you are always giving them the right answers. If you can learn to use leading questions to make the child think through his situation until he reaches that “AH-HA” moment, it will make that advice stick better than if you just tell him. He will feel as though he thought of the solution all on his own, and as a result, build confidence in himself.

4. Body Language: Listening is not just an audible experience. You can listen to the body language of an individual to truly grasp an understanding of what is going on. Someone’s voice may give off an air of confidence, but the body language may show signs of sweating and twitching, which are signs of fear and a lack of self-confidence. Have you ever heard the expression, “Actions speak louder than words?” Is it true or not? It is crucial that you as a parent learn to listen to and “read” your child’s body language. Trouble signs may not always be verbal, but there is always a clue as to what is going on in a child’s head. Fidgeting, nervousness, paranoia and edginess are big signs that there is something seriously wrong. This is when you will need to use leading questions to pull out what is wrong. Do not be fooled by confident words when the body language is saying otherwise.

5. Place yourself in the other person’s shoes: While you are actively listening to what is being said, take the time out to reverse the roles. Most people fail to make this simple change of thought when involved in a conversation. Imagine if whatever had happened to the other person had happened to you, and then ask yourself how you would feel if the same thing had happened to you. In most cases, you cannot get mad at someone for what they have done if you put yourself in their shoes. This does not go for things like theft, drugs, or murder, of course, but for things like a schoolyard fight, argument, and crying over something. You will be a more open-minded person if you can think about the conversation from the vantage point of the other person. You do this by taking the time to intentionally think about what the other person may be feeling. Ask yourself, “Why are they saying and doing what they are doing?” Feel the air for cues as to how the other person feels. Put yourself in their shoes by saying, “What would I have done?” When you do this, you better prepare yourself to give advice or offer leading questions. It is only when you understand a person’s circumstances that you can offer them accurate advice, so take the time out to see things from the other person’s perspective.

6. Less talking is more: As a listener, you are supposed to be listening. True listening does not involve talking at all. If you are supposed to be listening, but you have taken control of the conversation, you have gotten off the path of what listening is. Your job as a listener is to be a companion and a confidant, not a sparring partner. The less you speak when you are spoken to, the more people will come to you to speak; this is ideal if you want your kids to talk to you. When they are speaking, just shut up. Not to be rude in anyway, but just learn to hold back everything you want to say and just listen. They will love you for it. Remember, your body language is important as well. Just because you are not speaking, does not mean you can look off in the sky or do the dishes while your son is trying to speak to you. You will need to stop what you are doing and listen.

If you follow these tips, and learn from these barriers, you will never hear, “You never listen to me!” ever again from your son.

I imagine that this may sound like a lot of work, and it is certainly more work than the average person puts into a conversation, but the average parent produces an average kid.

Remember: The number one complaint of most children is that no one listens to them or understands them.

Barriers to Effective Listening
1. Trying to be a mind reader while the other person is talking
2. Planning your rebuttal while the other person is talking
3. Attempting to turn every conversation into a debate
4. Believing that you are always right
5. Asking too many questions at the wrong times
6. Failure to understand what the speaker said

Tips for Effective Listening
1. Paraphrase what was said to you in order to understand what was said
2. Remain open-minded at all times
3. Hold your insights and hold your tongue until the person is done talking
4. Study the body language of the individual while they are speaking
5. Place yourself in the other person’s shoes
6. Less talking is usually more

Part 1 of this article, “Six Barriers of Effective Listening” is available as well.

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15
Jun 11

Free Fun for Kids

Being a stay-at-home mother of 3 kids I constantly hear “We’re bored”, so I created a list of things we can do for no money (or almost no money). I’ve broken it down into 2 categories: inside and outside.

Inside Activities:

* Go on a treasure hunt – look for a missing sock or toy, or just hide something for them to find. You can even draw a map to find the treasure.

* Read a book – Go to your local library and check out a book then read it together. Talk about what happened in the story.

* Make a collage from old magazines, photos, junk mail, newspapers or anything else you have around the house.

* Play post office. Using some of the junk mail we all get pretend to send and receive letters. You can also write your own letter or draw pictures and pretend to mail them.

* Play store. Pretend to shop for groceries, clothes, or anything else you can think of. One person can be the salesperson and the other person can be the customer.

* Play restaurant. One person can be the waiter and the other person can be the customer. Pretend to take the order, prepare the food, serve the food and collect payment.

* Let the kids help you cook. Even the littlest kids can help pour or stir under your supervision.

* Watch a movie together. Check out one from your local library or rent one from a video rental store. Then break out the popcorn and enjoy the show.

* Play hot and cold. One person hides an object and the other has to find it. When the seeker gets close the are getting warmer and when they are moving away from the object they are getting colder.

* Start your own band. Use pots and pans for drums. Pizza pans, pot lids and wooden spoons work well also.

* Act out a story. Many people know Little Red Riding Hood or Three Little Pigs.

* Make a fort using pillows, blankets and sofa cushions.

* Put together a puzzle. You can also make a puzzle of your own by drawing a picture, cutting it into pieces, and then have fun putting it together again.

* Play dress-up. Let them wear your clothes, shoes and make-up.

* Have a picnic inside.

* Tell them a story. Your favorite trip, holiday, a funny event, etc.

* Color with crayons or color pencils. There are tons of site online to print out free color pages with every cartoon character you can imagine. Another option is draw your own pictures that tell a story.

* Get a cardboard box and let them play. Depending on the size it could become a car, house, space ship, train, castle, etc. Many grocery stores will give you boxes if you ask.

Outside Activities:

* Visit a local or state park.

* Visit a local playground. Many apartment complexes have playgrounds for their tenants which anyone can use unless it says for tenants only.

* Play tag – our favorite is freeze tag.

* Search for acorns, leaves, flowers, seeds, or four leaf clovers, etc. See who can find the most or find one first.

* Go for a walk in the snow.

* Make a snowman or snow family or anything out of snow. Check out my aunt’s site at http://www.snowart.org for really neat snow creations using food coloring.

* Watch the sunset in the evening or sun rise in the morning.

* Look for stars or planets in the night sky.

* Have a snowball fight.

* Search for tracks – squirrel, deer, dog, cat, people, bird, etc.

* Plant seeds and help them grow. One inexpensive way to get seeds is to get them out of pumpkins, watermelons, apples, cucumbers, peppers and then plant them outside or in a plastic cup.

* Visit friends or neighbors.

* Have a picnic outside.

* Go to the beach, a lake, a river and enjoy the view or go for a swim.

* Make mud pies.

* Play in a sprinkler or in a baby pool.

* Go for a walk.

* Rake leaves into a big pile and jump in.

Most kids just want to spend time with people who care about them. If you include them in some of what you do each day it will help them learn about this great, big world around them.

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13
Jun 11

Cooking With Kids – Again!

It’s amazing to watch people “come back to” some tradition or art that has been rather lost for a few decades. Have you noticed the food networks touting cooking with children? As if this is a new thing! Since America was founded, boys worked outside with their fathers while girls worked alongside their mothers, learning to garden and cook. A steady decline of women staying home and cooking has been felt since the 1960’s. In my opinion, families lose out all the way around.

Children love to experiment in the kitchen! And how else do we teach the next generation to feed themselves and their families if we don’t let them spend time in the kitchen with us? How many women do you know who purposefully teach their sons and daughters to cook?

Home school parents have known for a long time the benefits of cooking “lessons” in the kitchen. There’s math involved in cooking and baking from the shopping to the serving, including calculations, fractions, decimals finances and budgeting.

Whatever ages your children are, it’s never too late or too early to teach them their way around the kitchen. The youngest ones love to put on an apron and “help” Mommy. They can help stir, and mix stuff with their hands. They can learn the importance of good hand washing in the kitchen. From kindergarten up, you can teach them how to follow a recipe. They can help with meal planning and clean up. You can teach them the proper way to set a table. As they get older you can teach them how to make a menu for the week, and shop bargains. A great math lesson is teaching them how to calculate the price per ounce to compare prices. Showing them how to make healthy choices at the grocery store will cut down on their “begging” for junk food at home.

According to their ages, children can cook and bake with your supervision. Cake and brownie mixes go together easily and the rewards are quickly seen (and eaten!) Teach them to toss a fresh salad, and to make a pretty fruit platter. Finger Jell-O is always a hit. Eggs, oatmeal, sandwiches, wraps, pancakes, French toast are always fun. One of my boys always wanted to mix the meatloaf with his bare hands, which led to teaching him to make burger patties and meatballs too! Expand their repertoire as you go along.

As you conquer reading a recipe and using measuring spoons and cups, you (and they) can tackle anything! Let them help you brainstorm the menu for the week. Then let them “own” a meal (or part of a meal) weekly. Their confidence in themselves and their love for the kitchen will bloom and grow.

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13
Jun 11

Never Tell Your Children Anything That Limits Them

It is unlikely that by the end of the decade every teenager on this planet can get in touch with their magnificence and begin a process of shedding all the limitations they were marinated in throughout their early years, but the opportunity does exist. Now this isn’t to take the responsibility away from the teenager, as he or she has chosen their own exploration of life. We do it for ourselves for the more joy we put out the more joyful life can be. On the other hand we see an environment in which our young are absorbing, the good and bad, the joyful and fearful. We add to it and improve it or allow it to be as it is. Children are left to interpret and form beliefs for themselves about everything from their health and intelligence to their security and freedom to the possibilities for their dreams or not. Lucky for us all, children are smarter than ever before and they are opening a new world without limits.

The expansion continues and the variety of possible choices is without end. You can enter from a position of royalty and be a brutal criminal or you can be born in a war torn society in abject poverty and find yourself on top of the world as a most loved and admired elegant entrepreneur. You can be born with life threatening diseases only to live a gold medalist dream. There are no limits on the variations of possibilities. We each can think greater than we did the day before. There are no ideas too big. Though the unfolding of human awareness is happening ‘on schedule’ we are now living in an era ripe for unimaginable jubilation and love and prosperous expansion.

Never before has there been such clarity of what is possible for the individual and the world at large. I heard it said 50 is the new 30 and that’s an exciting idea born of the growing awareness that seeking greater happiness and joy produces greater life. Within the next 10-20 years there will be as much advancement in human self discovery and technological know-how to equal all previous discoveries made in all of recorded history. These advances will be staggering.

It is my contention that the root of this new growth period will be grounded in the understanding that children are only limited by the conditions and circumstances we place upon them and our relatively new understanding of the relationship between emotions and self esteem. Children begin their discoveries into a world far more advanced than their parents and they do it with less restrictive minds. Their ability to recognize the laws of the universe enables them to reach for greater possibilities. Few would argue that as people have gotten older their limiting beliefs have taken a toll. You would need to ask a million adults before you could find one who thought teleportation was a possibility. Teenagers on the other hand have far greater latitude.

The future is bright for everyone really, the best of all that is possible on earth is cause for great joy and it is in this condition we all can play a part in the nurturing of our children. As low as a teenager may experience life at times, he or she has the capacity to provide and grow a seed of joy. It is in this environment that happiness and joy manifest the opportunities, the situations, the circumstances and occurrences of the fulfillment of their desires.

There will be a day when the educational institutions will recognize their limiting effects on their students and transform so as to deliver on their promise to provide an environment in which all children can discover their true nature and live a full life of joy and satisfaction.

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12
Jun 11

A Birthmother’s Perspective On Adoption

Little girls spend a lot of time dreaming of finding their soul mate and building a family. For some, their dream does not come true due to life circumstances. Many of them do not have the financial, emotional, or physical stability to care for themselves let alone a child. Recognizing they have this instability, these women turn to adoption professionals to help them find a more stable family for their child. If they do choose to place their child with an adoptive family, they become known for the rest of their life as the birthmother. This choice changes their life forever and can be incredibly painful and hard to go through, but with the right amount of support and determination to make it work; this can be something that improves the life of not only her child, but herself as well. The following is the story of a birthmother who, in her opinion, changed her life for the better through a positive adoption experience.

Michelle found herself in a similar situation seven years ago. She was in her late 20’s, living with a dysfunctional boyfriend and very little family support. At the same time, suffering from low self-esteem also made it difficult for Michelle to focus on moving her life moving in a positive direction. That all changed the second she saw the positive result of the home pregnancy test. Michelle knew what she was going to do : place the baby for adoption.

Making the decision to place the baby for adoption was Michelle’s first step to becoming the healthy person she always wanted to be. The next step was to announce her decision to family, friends, and co-workers; individuals who she hoped would support her through this life altering experience. Her family was shocked to hear about the pregnancy and her adoption plan, but did offer the support she needed. It was the negative reaction from friends and co-workers that surprised her. Michelle says, “Many of my friends and co-workers thought it was wrong for me to place my baby for adoption. I couldn’t see how I could keep the baby considering the state my life was in at that time.” This reaction was Michelle’s first exposure to the public’s negative perception of adoption and birthmothers. It did dampen her spirit, but did not cause her to question her decision. She knew that decision was changing her life for the better. Those reactions led her to seek support from an experienced birthmother and a social worker who still have a positive impact on her life today. This new found support helped Michelle select an adoptive family, and more importantly process her feelings of attachment to the baby before and after the birth, as well as the adoption. Until this experience, Michelle says, “I had never been sure about anything in my life.” It gave her the confidence to change careers and find her soul mate. This change led her to marrying her soul mate, opportunities to live in other countries, and becoming a healthy biological mother.

Michelle has not met the adoptive family selected for her child, but has exchanged emails, gifts, and pictures with them over the years. The exchanges, she says, “Has allowed us to develop an amazing and beautiful, relationship.”

When asked what Michelle wanted the public to know about birthmothers, she responded by saying, “There is dysfunctional thinking about adoption in the United States. Reality is hard for everyone involved with an adoption. It can be a healthy experience if everyone works together to make it about the child.”

And to current and future birthmothers, Michelle wants them to know, “Adoption is for the rest of your life, forever. It can work out. Make wise choices, and seek outside support from others who have been through this experience.”

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12
Jun 11

Your Child’s Speech Difficulties – Parents, Try Making Statements Instead of Asking Questions

When parents are eager, and sometimes desperate, to hear their child start talking or to talk more than they are, they have a tendency to ask their child a lot of questions. Why is that? I think it is because parents hope that the next time they ask a question they will hear their child answer.

Asking a child questions is actually the opposite of what is really helpful to the child’s ability to learn language and to feel supported and encouraged to speak.

Questions put a child on the spot and maintain the uneven balance of power between the parent who is a master at talking and the child who is a fledgling at talking.

Consider this: when two people make statements or comments to each other, they are more equal partners in the interaction or conversation. When one person questions and the other person is expected to respond, the power balance shifts to the person asking the question (think: job interview, teacher/student classroom interaction, meeting your future in-laws for the first time.) The person who is expected to answer may not want to, may not know the answer, may struggle to formulate an answer to match his idea, or may not actually understand the question. Feelings of anxiety, confusion, disinterest, or failure may be felt by the person who is on the receiving end of the questioning process.

Telling a child something in statement form gives information without any expectation for a reply. Without pressure to respond, a child may feel the freedom to speak.

Models given in statement form give the child words she can “recycle” or reuse to make her own statement or comment. Questions might not provide any reusable words to build from.

Questions check your child’s ability to answer; statements share information. Questions test and statements teach.

There are so many ways to make statements. Here is a quick overview.

Talk about what your child is doing, observing, experiencing, or enjoying. Watch her to see what interests her. State what is obvious. Be the narrator of the events she is participating in. You are her key to understanding the world she lives in.

Talk about his interests. Make “you” statements.

Talk about your actions. Make “I” statements.

Talk about things your child is observing.

Interpret your child’s unspoken body language.

Repeat and correct what your child has said.

Expand beyond what your child has said.

You will help your child even more if you:

Use specific names for things.

Use repetition to make a point of important concepts and words.

Use gestures along with some of your statements.

Use sound effects and words that sound like words to build interest.

Make imperative statements.

This process of modeling language to your child truly is important and beneficial. Be alert to all opportunities to fit in some models before meeting your child’s needs.

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11
Jun 11

Parenting a Toddler – The ACT Way to Deal With Toddler Tantrums

Parenting a toddler has its own special difficulties, not least the common toddler tantrums. These are not only difficult for a parent to deal with, but toddler tantrums can also cause distress, and in some cases injury, to a toddler, and parenting a toddler requires special skill.

There are three simple steps to dealing with tantrums:

A. Avoid
C. Cope Calmly
T. Treat the situation consistently

A is for Avoidance

It might sound obvious, but when parenting a toddler the best way of dealing with a situation like typical toddler tantrums is to avoid them altogether. One of the main causes of tantrums is frustration; your toddler wants to be able to do things beyond their capability. So the first rule is to avoid frustrating situations. Doing things in stages is one way to accomplish this. For example, your toddler wants to dress themselves, let them put on the clothes as they deem right. You can make the changes & do the fastenings later when they are calmer. If your toddler always gets frustrated because they can’t have sweets whenever they want, avoid the situation by providing healthy snacks instead. Deal with things as tactfully and gradually as possible and you will help avoid frustrating situations for your child.

C is for Cope Calmly

Some children get so frustrated when they have a tantrum that there is a possibility they could hurt themselves and that is the last thing that you want when parenting a toddler. The first thing to do is to make sure your child is safe. This could mean holding them gently so that when they are calm again they feel secure. Also move away things that can hurt them. Watching toddlers get upset and angry is hard but when they are downright annoying that is really tough. However much you want to, do not shout at your child or get angry with them. Once you know they are safe, walk away, pretend it isn’t happening and stay calm. Your child will then know that toddler tantrums won’t achieve anything.

T is for Treat the situation consistently

Dealing with the aftermath of toddler tantrums is as important as what happens during the event. Never give in to the toddler demands and say you were wrong – always be consistent in what you say. For example, if your child wanted sweets and had a tantrum because you said no, don’t give in afterwards and give the sweets to them – to make you feel better. Parenting a toddler, or a child of any age, will never be easy and no-one will ever feel they have got it right, but avoidance, calm and treating situations consistently will help you and your toddler be happy.

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10
Jun 11

Choosing Toys For Your Children

Throughout the year, we see advertisements for children抯 toys. These advertisements are on television, on the radio and in print, both in magazines and in the newspaper.

Of course the amount and intensity of these ads is multiplied the last few months of each year. Our experience has often been that many toys are just fads. They are promoted in a way that children are just begging to receive them, and then once received, they are often discarded after just a few uses.

Over they years, I have often opted for toys that encourage creativity or thinking. For example, we抳e always owned word games. We抳e owned Scrabble, Boggle and Word Yahtzee, both the adult versions and the children抯 versions. These games have helped my children develop a love of words. My older daughter can not be beat at Boggle. I laugh that no one will play Boggle with her, as no one can win against her.

When my kids were young we owned blocks, Duplos and Lego. Building and creating are wonderful activities for children. My kids created all types of structures. They built homes for their dolls. They would follow patterns and build robot type figures and they would just create made up structures with no real definition. They loved building and creating. When they were old enough we bought the iron on bead designs and again they would create and create. They made magnets and bookmarks galore.

Crossword puzzle books, logic puzzle books and word find books have also always been very popular in our home. Of course these types of books are for older kids, not the under 5 group. We also always bought many workbooks, which both of my kids loved to sit and work on. Under 5, we bought a lot of shapes and counting games. Both of my kids loved Candy Land. They had to match their color cards to the space on the board. They could play this for hours upon hours. We also loved the game Sorry. Reading numbers and counting spaces was fun when they were young.

Over the years we have purchased hundreds of reading books. We actually discovered used book stores when the kids were young because we just couldn抰 keep them in books. As the kids learned to read, they went through every book the library had that kids could read themselves. They read everything we had bought them and so we began visiting the used book store. Any gift giving holiday the kids knew they could expect at least a couple of books.

My final suggestion is an assortment of age appropriate art supplies. You can buy crayons, markers and paints. As my kids got older they also began loving rubber stamps. They loved making their own cards and wrapping paper with rubber stamps.

We almost always skipped the newest advertised fad and instead chose the educational and creative toys on the market.

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10
Jun 11

Allow Your Daughter to Seek Her Dreams, Not Yours

I knew at the age of 16 that I was passionate about Jesus, and beauty and fashion, but could I turn that into a career. Maybe. My mom and dad thought it would be safer to be a counselor, and began encouraging me to pursue the education necessary to be a licensed counselor. Unfortunately, it is not my passion or my dream. For several years, however, I pursued the field of counseling one hundred percent. I went through many graduate school applications and grueling interviews. I was accepted to three different graduate school programs. I even took several classes in one particular program, only to realize more and more that it was not my calling or my passion.

Well known Christian author Max Lucado suggests in his work, The Cure for the Common Life that instead of asking our children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” a better question would be “How can I help you become what God has already designed you to be?” You see, God designed me for a special purpose, to be a specific thing, and he has done that for each individual on the face of this earth, so it is important that we are allowed to be what it is God designed for us to be.

God set his plan for each of us in motion the day that we were born. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” We are all as Christians certain of that great plan, that story of our life.

We all have a story, and as we live our lives, we are living out our story. We must also allow our children to live their story. Lucado says STORY stands for:

S – our strengths, those things that we do well,
T – our topics, the things we are most interested in,
O – our optimal conditions, the conditions in which we do our best work, perform to the best of our ability,
R – our relationships, those with whom we share and learn from,
Y – and our yes moments, those primary outcomes that bring us the most joy.

We must allow our daughters to live out their very own story. A card I got recently as congratulations on my new baby girl said this,

“She will dream her very own dreams, Maybe she will look like you, talk like you, smile like you … maybe she’ll sing, paint and dance like you, but she’ll dream her very own dreams.”

Dreams are important, they give us something to look forward to with anticipation. I know you had your own dreams, now allow your daughter to not only have hers, but to live them out. Be her biggest cheerleader and watch her win at this game we call life. Help her along the way with words of encouragement, many hugs and love and even some discipline if it is in order. However, do not discourage your daughter from living out her dreams. God gave them to her and it is important that she follows His path for her life. You can be assured that if she is following God, that there are many plans in her heart, but the Lord is directing her steps.

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