One of the greatest contributors to hyperactivity in children is the absence of connection to parents at a heart-to-heart level. If you have a child that has challenges with being attentive or hyper active, most likely you’ve allowed them to be cared for by a screen of some sort instead of by you or a loving caregiver. Although children are drawn to the video games and computers these replacements for us as parents only put them into sensory overload. What they truly desire is to connect with you at the heart. They want to know about you and that you know about them, understand them and of course love them through all their challenges.
Storytelling may sound like a strange antidote to hyperactivity but it is a powerful cure for what your overstimulated child may be suffering from – disconnection to you and your heart.
One of my greatest joys as a father has been centered around bedtime. The first few years however were a bit harrowing, tip toeing out of Sophie’s bedroom, making the disastrous mistake of placing my foot on that one squeaky spot on the floor. “Daddy! Where are you going?” This was after cuddling with her for nearly thirty minutes, checking her breathing, thinking it sounded like that deep, “I’m in beta sleep now, it’s safe to leave” type of breathing!
But alas we made it through that challenging stretch and when Sophie was about four years old, Cynthia and I began taking turns telling her stories at bedtime. Jammies were on, teeth were brushed and she anxiously waited on her bed for this weekly entertainment.
We didn’t start from scratch. Sophie helped us a little with some creative words. We asked her to give us three words that we would magically weave into the story, the more random they were the better. I don’t take credit for this style of storytelling. It was given to Cynthia from a fellow home schooling mother and inspired by the Waldorf approach to education. It’s a great way to involve a young child in the creative process and it made for some very unusual, sometimes very funny and occasionally somewhat scary stories.
When our second daughter was around three years old we began to include her into the process and asked her for three words as well. Being over five years apart in age made for very diverse words and a total of six random words was about my limit as far as memory was concerned. On some nights when the creativity was waning I had to cheat and write them down! Now if you have three or four fairly young children you may want them to contribute one or two words each.
Sometimes I really missed the mark. I would watch the girls as I grasped for a thread or struggled to find some humor, their faces blank, especially as Sophie grew older and more discerning. Other times however I felt like Hemingway, or Mark Twain, the words just pouring from my mind, my daughters’ eyes riveted to mine. On several occasions I was so impressed by my stories that I could barely finish them because of my tears.
There were stories of death, stories of courage, and stories of reckless abandonment that had my girls giggling till they were kicking their legs. There were words like lipstick, semi-truck and fairy all in the same story. There were times when it took me nearly ten minutes to begin my story and times when I began with great authority in only 30 seconds.
Those fifteen to thirty minutes with my girls were precious times. They fueled my creativity and allowed me to connect with them from the heart. Although reading to our children can be a wonderful time as well, telling a story, whether it be fictional or something from our past bonds us together like an epoxy glue made from love. Story time honors our Spirit by allowing It to flow into the hearts of others.
What greater time than now to tell your children a story. Whether they’re two or eighteen there is a story within you that they will connect with. There is a story about a special Christmas you experienced, a story about a time you really struggled or there’s a story that you’ll create from three simple words when combined together brings to their mind a glorious vision of sugarplums or fairies or angels!
Whether story time is at bedtime, midday, or around the campfire, it matters not. Stories, face to face, heart to heart, is a powerful antidote to the disease of disconnection. In this day of texting, video games and computers, where children are disconnecting from another human being, stories more than ever, are crying out to be told.
Tell your stories – your children will become calmer, more attentive and more creative as will you! You will begin a foundation of love and connection that will serve them and you for the rest of your life. The intensity of video games and computers will NEVER replace a mother’s or father’s love and involvement in their child’s life.
Want your child to thrive? Give yourself to them, find the time to give your love and attention and your creativity through stories and you’ll be amazed at the connection you will begin to feel and the change in their behavior you’ll begin to see.
Tags: bedtime, better parent, calming, child, children, how to connect, hyperactive, stories, story, tips