They say that nothing is easy in life and with regard to an international adoption that is an understatement!
From the first decision to adopt a child to the actual moment when you stand in the court and have the final decree announced that your child is legally yours, the road is filled with pitfalls and obstacles of the magnitude you never anticipated.
‘Hang In There’ will become your mantra.
The process is complicated, forever changing, uncertain, complex, tricky, emotional, difficult, frustrating, endless, and exhausting. You will feel vulnerable, hopeless, distraught and even frustrated. You will want to bang your head against the wall. You will want to slam down telephones, tear up documents, and silently curse those that send you them. You will cry, you will laugh and you will wonder how people can be so stupid, ignorant and naive about the adoption process. You will ask “How can this be?” You will start getting stressed about the little things and loose sight of the big picture.
Your friends will stop asking you “When are you getting your child?” and even “Are you STILL adopting?” Your family will wonder about your sanity. They will say things like, “Just go over there and get him!” You will question your intentions, you will be aghast at the negativity that you come across. You will be ashamed about attitudes. You will be shocked that some people will not support you with your decision to adopt, and amazed by the people that think you deserve sainthood status.
You have to have fortitude and patience. Most of all, you must keep your goal in mind…adding that child to your family. You have to remind yourself that you are doing a beautiful thing, an honorable act, a generous gesture. You will make a difference to that child and a difference in the world when they see and hear your story. You are going to give a home and a life to a child who has never felt wet sand beneath their toes, swam in a cool lake, felt the warmth of loving arms around them, have their hair stroked, and their nose kissed.
You are not only giving this child a chance to fulfill their potential, but their children’s children. You are teaching other people the importance of caring for children. You are giving hope and that is a rare and precious gift. So…Hang in There!
Debbie Mumm is a parent of 3 biological and 2 adopted children from Russia. She is an Adoption Coach helping families before, during and after the adoption process. To learn more how you can help an orphaned child and about the International Adoption process register for a FREE report at http://www.adoptionhighway.com