So, you want to have a baby?
There comes an age and time in life when every person coupled or otherwise considers the question of whether or not to have a child. For some people, this is a no-brainer and they know from the time they are very young that children are in their future. For others, it is once that causes distress, concerns and worries because the urge is just not there. And still, for others it becomes an impossibility or an accidental decision. Having a baby is a huge step in life often seen as the entrance to the threshold of adulthood. There is lots of pressure, silent and outward, on people to have a baby and it is almost as if choosing otherwise is some sort of abomination.
In today’s world where men and women are becoming more equal, financially independent and are encouraged to develop passions outside of hearth and home the sheer thought of having a baby can be disgruntling. Regardless of what you think, what you have been told or what your imagination dreams of your future to be – having a child changes everything in more ways than imaginable. Some of those ways are more positive than you thought possible and others can be frustrating leaving parents to feel as if they have just entered a life sentence. Which in so many ways, they have.
The crazy thing about the decision to have children is it isn’t one that can be made early in life. It can’t be a set as a feasible goal because life changes so quickly. One minute you are in high school, college and pursuing a career-thinking babies are the enemy and a year later you are so deeply in love that you can’t imagine not sharing this special feat with that someone special. Furthermore once you make the decision to have a child and follow through, there is absolutely no turning back to the life you left. It is an all or nothing endeavor.
For intensive purposes, it is probably best to weigh the pros and cons of having children before you embark on the journey. Unfortunately, it is like concocting a travel plan to Pluto, because you don’t know the real pros and cons of having children until you do so. How could you, really? Even people who have children can’t really find the words or pinpoint the feelings of watching a birth or witnessing a first step. Having children is one of those things in life that is indefinable and felt differently by every person. It is the inhuman mixture of love and passion, fear and worry, excitement and anxiety, frustration and stress.
At the risk of sounding trite, the best way to decide whether or not having children is your destiny or not is to allow your destiny to just unfold. Keeping an open mind and realizing that should the embodiment of a child be right for you it will show itself to you at some point ensures you will not be pressured, disappointed or anxious about it. In other words, never say never and don’t place all your genetic eggs in one basket. When the time is right to have children, whether on purpose or accidentally, it will happen. Sometimes the best way to choose whether or not to become a parent and to decide if you are ready for it or not is to face the music when it begins to play.
Contrary to what you may believe in this moment, ten years ago or five years from now – having children may or may not be important in your life. Even the best laid plans can fail which means that the little pink line that says a baby is coming can and does happen to people who are both sides of the fence when it comes to this issue.
Your ultimate decision and desire to have children is one that only you can make. Having faith that the right things in your life will happen, in the proper order and that whatever your future holds, either with children or otherwise, will be happy and abundant is the best stance to take on the issue. Who knows, your decisions and thoughts are as uncertain as summer rains in the dessert and you just never really know all the answers in life for sure.