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Parenting — Comments Off
6
Jun 11

CEO Parents – Heads-of-Household

In the family unit, you have the head-of-household, which should always be thought of as heads-of-household or considered to be and synonymous to CEOs or CEO Parents. Run your family like loving, caring, and generous CEOs because CEOs always are paid in the end.

I make this distinction from a simple comparison of the job of a CEO in building and growing a company and the job of parents in raising a family. Both have highly important jobs that demand a lot of their time, skills, and knowledge. Therefore, in a traditional business, the CEO’s duty and goal is to forge a path for a company that will lead to profits and growth for that company. The success or failure of the company lies primarily on how well the CEO did his or her job in charting a viable, lucrative path for the company.

In contrast, in the family unit, the parents should consider themselves as CEO Parents running and building the hardest, most time consuming, and most important business in the world – the raising of a family. Raising a family is a life long endeavor with many rewards and benefits that are so valuable and priceless. It should be rewarded a million times over. However, raising a family successfully and seeing your children do the same should be rewarding enough most people would say.

As CEO Parents, you are in charge of charting a course for the family that must provide for the family, grow the family, and secure the family. The success or failure of the family (failed parenting) lies with how well you, as parents, charted and navigated your course in the sea of family life.

Family Financial Security

CEO Parents, as providers, are continually tasked whether consciously or unconsciously with providing the family with financial security. Among the CEO Parents there must be a consortium which should be the foundation ensuring the financial security of the family.

When two people marry, in the vows it states “… for rich or poor…,” this statement alone when said is said with your hand on the bible and your right hand up which is your adjuration to your family’s financial security or the lack there of. Most parents begin fulfilling this oath with getting a job. This is only a start to a family’s financial security and that is where most parents stop in their quest for financial security. The reasons for this are many but more commonly are the lack of education and knowledge in the areas finance and investing coupled with the perceived lack of opportunities. However, some may say there is no real lack of opportunities just the fear to see the value of the opportunity and never take ownership of the opportunity. In addition, there are those who do take ownership of an opportunity but fail to believe in the opportunity.

Family Income

Building the family’s income, as CEO Parents, you are solely the chief bread winners for the family and with this reality CEO Parents should seek out lucrative opportunities that are most likely to increase the family’s income significantly if not marginally. Refusing to evaluate an opportunity simply because it sounds too good to be true. In the long run it hurts you more because when the right one comes along and you choose not to own it because it sounds too good to be true you will have missed your proverbial ship that came in or better yet passed by.

Increasing the family’s income should begin with the building of the CEO Parents core belief system, support system, and education on self-improvement. These are key areas that will help and sustain you in your quest for increasing your family’s income significantly. The opportunities for CEO Parents as well as anyone are all around you but you have to be open and willing to take risks to take a commanding ownership of the right opportunity for you and your family.

Family Taxes

As CEO Parents your taxes are a big part of the family’s income and the income you keep to improve your family’s financial security. Your job in this area must be that of finding viable and legal ways to pay fewer taxes. One way is to create or find ways to take more deductions.

Jennifer Openshaw as excellent programs, courses, information, and the family financial network to help guide you as you embark on the journey of increasing your tax deductions. In addition, we must not over look one of the best and quicker ways of taking more tax deductions in to start a home-based business and make it a family business with everyone involved. The many deductions you can take should be discuss. For information on what Robert Kiyosaki said about this opportunity at http://www.smi.buildlastingsuccess.com. Great opportunities are abundant if you dear to seek them out and to take ownership in them.

Family Entertainment

Successful CEO Parents incorporates family entertainment into their family unit. By doing so, it provides quality time and gives the family members a sense of being a real family. This is why it is essential for a family to sit down at the dinner table during supper and eat supper together as a family. Going out as a family to have fun at the movies, at plays, concerts, or whatever you see fit to do as a family strengthens the family bond. It is these moments that are so remembered and treasured the most.

Family Lifestyle

CEO Parents should seek to give their children a better lifestyle than they have have had and this is the case with most parents. This has been a dream of parents for many generations and it will continue to be. With that said, CEO Parents makes lifestyle improvements one-step at a time by educating themselves, improving themselves with self-improvement books, seminars, and information. This lays the foundation for you to provide a better lifestyle for your family.

Next, you begin to search for the vehicle that will provide your family the monetary fuel that will fuel your family’s lifestyle. Sure, I know that the internet is enamored with cons, sex a fenders and unscrupulous people and so is the world outside the internet but that should never deter or hinder your pursuit for a better lifestyle for you and your family.

A way to measure whether you are providing your family a better lifestyle is by the type of vacations you are able to take with your family members. These are vacations where you and your family are there to enjoy each other, the amenities, and the activities while on vacation. These will serve as invaluable memories for generations to come. One of your personal goals may be to travel and visit every country in the world and by being or becoming CEO Parents; you can make this a reality and achieve this goal with your family. It is like giving your children the world while giving them the chance to experience the world unlike most people who are not able to do so. CEO Parents makes it happen while most average parents merely seek to provide just a living, a survival if you will for their family. You often hear average and poor parents say that this is the best that they can do, but is it really. A change in their thinking and core beliefs and values is the key in changing and improving their lifestyle. Well, a change in their income (an increase that is) is a big factor as well. However, the change in their core beliefs and values will sustain them in bettering their income and lifestyle.

Family Security

CEO Parents as well as other parents wants to provide the most security for their family. Usually this consists of buying the most life insurance, home insurance, and medical insurance they can afford for their family. Initially, this is very good but is this enough. These insurances may provide the needed coverage and funds whenever a disaster befalls them. However, what insurance is going to cover them or protect them from a legal disaster? It is far better to have something in place before hand than protect and prevent legal disasters that have the potential to leave a family financially bankrupted. The service and opportunity is readily available to you and it has been around for years. You either have never heard about it or have never seen it, or you have heard of it but you did not believe in it enough to add the service to your family’s security portfolio. However, the need in America for legal services has grown and it is still growing by leaps and bounds. Therefore, I urge you to be the type of CEO Parents that realize the need to have access to legal services in your back pockets, seeing the value of having this access to legal counsel at unheard of prices in the industry. In addition, to taking a commanding control of the service and opportunity, you hold a steadfast belief in it while taking an unbelievable ownership of it.

Parenting — Comments Off
4
Jun 11

Why Your Children Are Perfect

Did you ever date someone who wanted to change you? Or were you the one wanting to make the changes? Usually those relationships are filled with conflict and strife. One person struggles to be themselves, messy, unstylish, or unmotivated as that may be, while the other sees their potential. If only that person would dress just a little better, look for a new job, pick up their house, the list can go on and on. Rarely, in the end, do these struggles result in change and even more rarely do they result in happiness for both parties.

This struggle to change someone is often a result of judgments that we carry around with us. Part of our mind is constantly comparing ourselves and those we love with others and holding them up to some expectations we’ve created. Our expectations and judgments of our children are particularly strong. We welcome our children to the world with hope and anticipation. Many of us dream of either creating the childhood we didn’t have or re-creating wonderful moments we did. Our surroundings build further beliefs of how life with children should be. We are bombarded with images on TV and in the media of happy parents and smiling babies. We talk to our friends and family about our children and their achievements. In turn, we strive for them to have every opportunity, to make the most of their lives, and to be more successful than ourselves.

All of our hopes and dreams can lead us to provide our children with wonderful experiences and learning opportunities. However, creating expectations they are unable to meet or that are inconsistent with their personality likely leads to unhappiness and problems. Our children internalize our hopes and our beliefs about them. When they are unable to live up to them, they judge themselves. “I’m no good at this.” “I’m not smart enough.” “I’m not brave/strong/ disciplined/ funny/ thoughtful enough.” Thinking like this will weigh them down and lead to feelings of worthlessness, guilt or harsh self criticism.

If you find that you’re in that cycle of struggling with your child about your expectations and their inability to meet them it may be time for a change. Simply letting go of our judgments can feel good. The first step to letting go of judgments is to notice when you are having them. We develop them over decades of experience. Most are rooted in our background and traditions. They may be so much a part of our pattern of thinking that we don’t even realize they are there.

Once you have stepped back, try to accept your children exactly as they are. In their book “Everyday Blessings”, Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn suggest that we can parent mindfully, helping us see past problem behaviors. One tip they suggest is to practice seeing your children as perfect just the way they are. See if you can stay mindful of their autonomy from moment to moment. Work at accepting them as they are when it is hardest for you to do so.

Although our children may never be the babbling baby in the commercial, first in their class, a rocket scientist, and athletic superstar, they can still be perfect. They are perfect in the person that they are and in the unique set of qualities they bring into the world.

Babies-Toddler — Comments Off
3
Jun 11

Our Mutual Love for Starbucks…

He trots eagerly thru the parking lot and into the store, commenting on what he is going to eat along the way. As we enter, he runs up to pick out his prime slice of pumpkin loaf thru the glass, then scores his own straw cup full of soy milk (and perhaps even whipped cream). Then he perches happily on a big chair, flirting with all who pass by as we both enjoy our drinks.

I can almost forget that he is a demanding little soul, and think of him as a friend, someone I would go out with before the thought of children was anywhere near my mind. It reminds me of the days sitting and studying or reading in coffeehouses, with no worries about him. Now, even if I go without him, he is still on my mind, as I抦 wondering how he is doing without me, if he is asking for me, if he needs something only I can give him, and I cannot fully relax and enjoy the peace and calm.

It is just a little bit of peace and calm away from the disaster that is my house, especially because I don抰 have to clean up all those pumpkin bread crumbs that end up all over the floor . The conversation is a little different these days, instead of debating deep issues of spirituality and the like, it involves other people and their cell phones, the truck passing by outside, and the baby playing at the adjacent table.

The change is not unwelcome, however, as it helps me open up to the world around me through his eyes, rather than continuing in my self-absorbed state. That is one of the wonderful things about having children, as it forces you to consider others first.

Parenting — Comments Off
3
Jun 11

Parents – Letting Go of Guilt

How are your children doing? If they are doing well, then I’m sure you feel good about your parenting. If they are not doing well, what are you telling yourself about your parenting?

“I should have been there for them more.”

“I should have been harder/easier on them.”

“I should have been a stay-at-home mother.”

“I shouldn’t have spent so much time at work.”

“I should have set better limits.”

…and so on.

Yet most parents did the best they could, and continue doing the best they can. Statements such as those above only server to create guilt. And the fact is that if you had known how to do it better, you probably would have, so beating yourself up for not knowing better is a useless waste of energy.

But even if you had been an “ideal” parent – if there is such a thing – your child might still have problems. The belief that perfect parenting creates perfect children is a false belief based on another false belief – that we have control over other people.

There are two problems with thinking that you can be a perfect parent and that this will create perfect children:

All of us are in the process of evolving ourselves – we are a work in progress. Unless you are a totally enlightened being, i.e. someone with no ego, no woundedness, no issues at all (I have never met this person!), you bring your own issues into your relationship with your children. You bring your own conditioning, false beliefs, fears and desires for control over getting love and avoiding pain. Given that we are the role models for our children, there is no way that the will not absorb some of our unhealed issues. Even if you manage to treat them with unconditional love, are you able to treat yourself with unconditional love? And if not, they are likely to learn to treat themselves the way you treat yourself – no matter how wonderfully you treat them.
Children do not come into this life as blank slates. They come in with their own unique souls. Anyone who has had more than one child knows that each child comes in totally different, with his or her own unique ways of being in the world. Therefore, what you do with one child that seems to work so well, may not work well at all with another child. Unless you are very sensitive and able to be acutely tuned into each child, it is likely that you may miss the cues of what an individual child needs. Therefore, while we need to take full responsibility for our choices and for being as loving as we can be, we cannot take responsibility for a child’s choices regarding who he or she wants to be.

If your children are not doing well, it is certainly important to do all you can to help. This means:

Supporting them in receiving the help they need if they are available for help.
Embracing your own learning journey. The more responsibility you take for your happiness and wellbeing, the better role model you become for them, regardless of their age. Even adult children can still learn from you how to start to take responsibility for themselves.

Feeling guilty for your children’s problems not only does nothing to help them, it can even harm them. Your guilt indicates that you feel responsible for them, and they may be more than willing to blame you for their problems. Feeling guilty is a form of enabling, which is never helpful to anyone. While they are living with you, you are certainly responsible for providing a caring and healthy environment for them. But you cannot take responsibility for the choices they make – you do not have this control. If you learn to take loving care of yourself in the face of their choices, you provide them with the opportunity to learn to take loving care of themselves.

Parenting — Comments Off
2
Jun 11

What Are The Challenges Facing Parents Today?

Parenting is a gift that God bestows on us. It is a great responsibility. However, in today’s society the job is getting tougher and tougher. The world at large is becoming more violent and restless and it is difficult to bring up a child in such an environment. The children of today are exposed to so much and are easily influenced. For example:

Drugs:

In this day and age, drug use is one of the most common problems parents have to fight against. It is not only a problem that’s affecting twenty yr olds; it’s a problem that begins as young as eleven and twelve. Many youngsters of today are hooked on to drugs. The percentage of kids using drugs is overwhelming. Visit a rehabilitation home and you will know what I mean.

Drinking:

If you have teenagers at home, you know what I am talking about. Alcohol fascinates all our youngsters. It is not one or two drinks that they have; they consume bottles and bottles of alcohol. To most youngsters nowadays alcohol is the symbol of fun. They need either alcohol or drugs to ensure that they have a good time.

Our kids have lost the ability to fight feelings of depression or tension, they hit the bottle.

Sex:

With all the programs on television and the porn sites on the internet, sex is a growing issue among our teen kids. They are all eager and excited to learn more about sex. No longer do they believe in preserving their virginity till marriage. Sex is now for the married as well as the unmarried. There is no age limit, you can be as young as 12 and still have sex. If you are one who watches the news or reads the newspapers regularly, you will find that AIDS is on a fast increase. More and more youngsters are being plagued by this disease.

To bring up children in a world that says drugs, drinking and sex at any age is okay is nothing but a challenge. A challenge that drains you of every ounce of energy!

Parenting — Comments Off
2
Jun 11

Don’t Make Me Come Down There!

The young mother pointed a finger at her child, who stood across the room. One tiny hand hovered over the flowering plant he’d been told – repeatedly – not to touch. His big blue peepers fixed themselves on his Mommy, whose own eyes were wide, one eyebrow arched high in obvious frustration. “Don’t make me come over there,” she warned.

I smiled behind my hand. Will that phrase never go “out”? My mother used it on me, and my kids are quite familiar with it, as well. I’m pretty sure it’s universally understood, and it is not generational. I doubt there’s a child anywhere, of any era, who doesn’t know trouble’s brewing when they hear those words.

Words that say, “I’ve had all I’m going to take.” They make it clear that it’s time to “shape up.” They hold a tacit warning to “behave yourself,” and strongly advise to “toe the line.”

They also say, “Or else!”

Any child with an ounce of smarts will shape up, behave himself and toe the line. Nobody wants the “or else”!

Sometimes I get this funny little picture in my head. God, attired in his royal robes, perches on a huge golden throne, shaking a long finger Earthward – eyes huge and glowing, one eyebrow cocked so high it nearly disappears beneath his crown. “Don’t make me come down there!” He speaks softly, but in God-speak, even a whisper can sound like a roar. The implication is clear – “Or else!”

Wise children of God know how to heed those little spiritual nudges (God’s pointing finger and raised eyebrows). Those with a bit of intuition recognize the warning for what it is and don’t hesitate to repent and whip themselves into shape, before their heavenly Daddy has to do it for them!

Others aren’t quite so intuitive…we always have to touch the pretty plant – and for no better reason than that we were told not to. When will we headstrong Christians ever learn that it isn’t worth it?

Yes, God is a loving God. But He’s also a Fatherone who wants His kids to be obedient. And according to Hebrews 12:6 (NIV), “The Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” If we disobey and are chastened, it means He loves us. By obeying Himor learning from the chastening when we don’t we become strong and upright, like our Father.

Listen closely. Is that your Father’s voice? “Don’t make me come down there!”

Hurry! I think He wants you to shape up…behave yourself…toe the line.

And don’t touch that apple!

Isaiah 1:19 – If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land.

Parenting — Comments Off
31
May 11

How Can I Help My Children Enjoy Reading?

Reading has always been a difficult chore for me. I call it a chore because when I was young and in school it was one of the hardest thing I ever had to do. I would do anything I could to get away from reading.

Most of the time the subject matter of the books offered in class held no interest to me so I had little interest in reading. I mean, after all, how long can you find joy in watching Spot run? And I didn’t even know Jane or Dick. Why would I want to read about them?

I also suffered a little dyslexia and the jumbled up letters of each word were sometimes a little hard to make sense of. I would need to read some words several times before it made sense. Sometimes I had to read the entire sentence over and over.

Back then, those many years ago, the teachers didn’t have the time or patience to work with each student and they never knew the problems faced by slow readers.

Today I am still bothered by my inability to read correctly. I still find myself rereading words and sometimes even missing words completely. By missing a word or two the whole paragraph is lost or it may take on a wrongful meaning. The need to reread the paragraph is still there.

I have tried some of the reading remedies but it is too late. the damage is already done. Even though I write articles like this and I read a lot of information over the Internet I still find a difficulty in reading.

My disbelief in reading was set in my mind as a very young child. I wish I had developed an interest in reading while I was still young.

What I’m saying in these few word is simply when you see your child struggling over a book don’t just turn away and think that a teacher will take care of it. Each teacher has 20 or more students in the class and may not be able to give the attention needed.

Take an interest in your child’s ability to read. Show him or her that reading can be fun. Read with them. If you read with the child and throw in a giggle or laugh now and then the chore becomes more exciting, fun and desirable.

Like I said before, who wants to watch Spot run? Give the kids something that they like. Something like Hannah Montana or “The Lord Of The Rings” Books they find exciting and interesting. Give them books that were designed for the younger generation.

There is a whole series of Harry Potter books that would be ideal for helping your child enjoy reading. In fact, J.K. Rowlings, the author of the Harry Potter series has written a new book titled “The Tales of Beedle The Bard” Which again, was written with children in mind.

Get a copy of that one and sit down with your children to discover something new. Something no one else has seen.

I wrote this article because all my life I struggled with my own limited reading capabilities. I have missed out on so many exciting and wonderful adventures only gained through reading. At the ripe old age of 68 I still struggle. Don’t let it happen to your children. Give them all the help you can.

I’m sure there are others in your location who would like to help their children learn to enjoy reading. Why not do them a favor and pass this along.

Crafts-Hobbies — Comments Off
29
May 11

Childrens Bug Crafts – Kids Crafts to Drive Them Buggy

There are an estimated 1,017,018 species of insects in our world, so it’s no wonder that children have an endless fascination with them. When they’re outside playing, insects are everywhere, and while the majority of them don’t hurt people, they are extremely interesting to look at. Therefore, childrens bug crafts are very popular with kids, because they love making their own insects.

Children can make an easy dragonfly by painting one old-fashioned (not clip) clothespin and four 3/4″ craft sticks pale green. Prior to painting cut each craft stick at a 60 degree angle by cutting off about 1″ of the stick. Let the pieces dry, then have the children paint a veined pattern on the sticks with a darker shade of green. They can also add some darker green to the clothespin including two dots on the front for eyes. When everything dries, glue the sticks into the groove in the clothespin to form two pairs of wings.

Clay pots make great childrens bug crafts. Start this ladybug windchime by painting a 4″ clay pot bright red, inside and out. While the pots are drying, have the children color 3/4″ sticker circles (available at discount stores) with permanent black markers. Each child needs to make two stickers into eyes and color eight more solid black. When the pots are dry, the children will paste their stickers on the pot to form the eyes and spots. Cover the entire surface with Mod Podge to make it weatherproof and keep the stickers from falling off. Fold two black craft stems in half, link them together, and thread them through the hole in the bottom of the pot. Glue the edges of the inside stem to the pot surface. Curl the ends of the stem sticking up slightly to form feelers. Feed a string through the hole around the craft stems with both ends inside the pot. Knot about 6″ above the pot for a hanger. String a few pony beads onto the ends of the string and knot the strings securely. These will provide a little noise when wind blows the ladybug pot.

A third insect craft is to make a paper plate bee. Start with a heavy duty paper plate. Draw lines across the back of the plate about 2 1/2″ apart. Have the children paint every other stripe bright yellow. When the yellow dries, paint the alternating stripes black. Glue two large craft eyes on the sloped edge of the plate. Punch two holes about an inch apart in the top of the plate a little ways behind the eyes. Thread a black craft stem through the holes and twist them to form antenna. Cut four wings from waxed paper and glue to the top of each bee.

There’s nothing kids love doing more than painting, so you know they’ll really enjoy doing these childrens bug crafts. You’ll love seeing the delight in the eyes of the children over the cute insect crafts they have made all by themselves.

Parenting — Comments Off
21
May 11

Book Review – "The Five Love Languages of Children" by Gary Chapman, PhD & Ross Campbell, MD

The Five Love Languages of Children truly is a great and important book for every parent to read. It explains the five different approaches of providing love to a child and teaches parents to recognize and speak their child’s love language. By speaking the right love language, Moms and Dads can avoid many parenting issues and pitfalls by effectively connecting with their children and redirect their efforts to building family relationships that are filled with mutual and genuine respect, affection and commitment. Parents who read the book will also learn much about themselves, understand what their own love language is, and thereby improve relationships with their spouse or partner and even their own parents.

Apart from the basic physical needs of food, shelter and clothing, every child needs unconditional love; love that accepts and affirms a child for simply being who they are, not for what they do. Without unconditional love, a child will wither emotionally and can become stunted for life by feelings of inadequacy, fear, anger and resentment.

With a strong foundation of love that fosters a sense of security, safety and well-being, a child will flourish on all levels – mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually – and be more apt in developing the necessary skills to mature into a responsible, successful and loving adult. This book gives valuable insights and instructions on how parents can communicate each love language to their children as they grow through the various stages from infancy to adolescence.

The five love languages are:

1. Physical Affection
Cuddles and kisses, snuggling while watching a movie or reading a book together, wrestling on the floor, piggy-back rides, tickling, and playing games or sports that require physical touch all contribute to a healthy emotional life as it tells your child “I love you.”

2. Words of Affirmation
Underlying all words of endearment, praise, and encouragement is the message “I care about you” which nurtures your child’s inner sense of worth and security. Words of positive guidance, such as advising your child to stay away from drugs and cigarettes, steers your child in the right direction in life. However, the manner in which your words are spoken must also be taken into account. Sending the right message but in a cruel and harsh way will have the opposite effect.

3. Quality Time
By setting aside time where you can give your child your undivided attention, you effectively communicate “You are important. I like being with you.” Quality time is not so much about doing something special together, but about being present and being together.

4. Gifts
In order for gifts to become symbols of love and appreciation, a child must feel that his or her parents genuinely care, which is why the first three love languages (physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time) are necessary prerequisites for gifts to have real meaning. The mistake that some parents make and perhaps don’t even realize is to give gifts as a substitute for the other love languages or to use gifts as a form of bribery and manipulation. A true gift is one that is given as an expression of love, with no strings attached.

5. Acts of Service
Naturally, parenting is a full-time service-oriented role. As a parent, you need to remember that the primary motivation of serving your children is to do what is best for them. It is not about pleasing them and serving them all the candy and ice-cream they want. Like gift giving, acts of service should be used in conjunction with the other love languages. The ultimate purpose of acts of service is to be role models for your children so that they will learn by your example and lovingly serve their own family and community when they become adults.

The authors contend that each person has a “primary” love language which seems most important. When it comes to children under age five, figuring out their primary love language is not that clear-cut. Parents will need to speak all five love languages. Balanced doses of affectionate touch, supporting and encouraging words, spending quality time together, giving gifts, and acts of service will surely meet your child’s need for love and keep their “emotional tanks” full.

Parenting — Comments Off
19
May 11

Creating Un-Spoiled Children

Have you ever wondered if your children are spoiled? I know I have. I was so curious one day that I looked up the definition of a spoiled child on the internet. According to B.D. Schmitt, M.D., author of “Your Child’s Health”, he says “a spoiled child is undisciplined, manipulative, and unpleasant to be with much of the time. He behaves in many of the following ways by the time he is two or three years old:

“Doesn’t follow rules or cooperate with suggestions

“Doesn’t respond to “no”, “stop”, or other commands

“Protests everything

“Doesn’t know the difference between his needs and his wishes

“Insists on having his own way

“Makes unfair or excessive demands on others

“Doesn’t respect other people’s rights

“Tries to control people

“Has a low tolerance for frustration

“Frequently whines or throws tantrums

“Constantly complains about being bored

When I looked at this list, I couldn’t help but notice that my kids sometimes display some of these behaviors. Admittedly, I was embarrassed that my children were spoiled. Spoiling our children isn’t hard to do and can happen almost accidentally. As moms, it’s important to us that our children are loved and taken care of so we do as much as we can for them. We want the best for them, and often protect them from unwanted pain. In a society where material things are valued, it can be difficult to avoid overindulging our children with the niceties of this world. We say yes whenever we can, often to keep from disappointing our children. When we’re tired, we give into the persistence our children use to wear us down. These behaviors reinforce exactly what we do not want – spoiled children.

So how do we avoid spoiling our children or undoing what we may have already started? You can use “attitude jars” to build character and reinforce positive attitudes. Fill one jar with glass stones and marbles. Prominently display on the outside of the jar the famous saying “Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?” Next to this jar, place one empty jar or glass bowl for every child that you have. On the outside of each child’s jar, place a sticker that says “Noah (or child’s name) has a great attitude”. Every time your child displays any of the ten “great attitude” behaviors, he earns a glass stone. This will not only help you notice the positive behaviors, but will also teach your child what constitutes a great attitude. If your child demonstrates a “spoiled attitude” (opposite of great attitude behaviors), he or she loses a stone. When your child reaches one hundred stones, or whatever number you choose, celebrate his success with a special treat from a rewards list. Use rewards that motivate your children to be successful.

“Great Attitude” Behaviors

Follows rules. Do you have a set of house rules that you expect your children to abide by? Maybe one rule is “No jumping on furniture.” Or perhaps you expect your teenager to be home by curfew. When they follow the house rules, your children are demonstrating a great attitude.

Handles “No” gracefully. Get in the habit of saying no when you need to and help your children gracefully accept your decision. Handling no gracefully means they say “Okay Mom” without protests, whining or tantrums.

Listens and obeys parents and authority figures. If you ask your child to do something and they do it immediately, he or she earns a stone. Respect for authority is a sign of a healthy attitude.

Shows patience when asked to wait. There are many times our children need to learn to wait. Sometimes we are on the phone or in the middle of doing something else. Exercising patience is an important skill for children to learn, and should be recognized as a “great attitude” behavior.

Expresses anger using respectful words. Tantrums are not an appropriate way to express anger, especially if the child is old enough to use his words. Yelling and screaming, name calling or other disrespectful behaviors should not be rewarded. Encourage your child to calm down and use respectful words to express her frustration.

Treats family members with respect. It’s never okay to make fun of our family members, take belongings from their room, or physically harm them in any way. Teach your children to encourage their siblings, respect each other’s personal property and handle disagreements in healthy ways.

Shares family responsibility. It takes a lot to run a household and moms need help. If your child helps out by picking up his toys, carrying in the groceries or setting the table, praise your child for sharing in family responsibilities. A helpful person is always a joy to be around.

Thinks positively. Have you ever heard your child say “It’s going to take forever” or “I never get to do anything”? These are not positive statements and negative thinkers do not have great attitudes. Help your child recognize her negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones instead.

Thinks of other people. A spoiled child thinks of himself – he believes the world is centered on him. We need to help our children understand that it’s important to think about other people and what they need or want. Give your child a glass stone when she shows interest in another person, or is able to compromise her needs for the needs of others.

Family and child counselor, Audrey Wise, defines a spoiled child as “parents who are overprotective and all-giving”. The problem has nothing to do with the child, but everything to do with our parenting. It is up to us to create un-spoiled children. While it may take some hard work and consistency, the reward is worth it. Our children will be a delight to be around, and we will instill character in our children that will last a lifetime and be passed on to future generations.

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