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Parenting — Comments Off
5
Dec 10

Identifying the 4 Parenting Styles

Do you know what kind of parent you are? This is an important question to answer because as a parent your end goal is to raise a happy, healthy, successful child and to reach that goal you need to be the best parent you can be.

The four main parenting styles are determined by the level of warmth and control that parents exert over their child. These two key factors then create four categories of parenting styles: indulgent, authoritarian, authoritative, and uninvolved. Each of these parenting styles reflects different natural patterns of parental values, practices, and behaviors and a distinct balance of response and demand.

* Indulgent parents are more responsive than they are demanding. Nontraditional and lenient, they do not require mature behavior, allow much self-regulation, and avoid confrontation. Indulgent parents may be further divided into two types: democratic parents, who, though lenient, are more conscientious, engaged, and committed to the child, and nondirective or permissive parents.

* Authoritarian parents are highly demanding and directive, but not responsive. They do not explain orders but expect total obedience. These parents provide well-ordered and structured environments with clearly stated rules. Authoritarian parents can be divided into two types: those who are not intrusive or autocratic in their use of power and those who are highly intrusive.

* Authoritative parents are both demanding and responsive. They set clear standards for their child’s conduct, but their disciplinary methods are supportive, rather than punitive. They are assertive, but not intrusive and restrictive as they want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, cooperative, and self-regulated.

* Uninvolved parents are low in both response and demand. In extreme cases, this parenting style might encompass both rejection and neglect.

Parenting styles not only differ in terms of response and demand but also the extent of psychological control they extend over their child. Psychological control is the attempt to intrude into the psychological and emotional development of the child through use of parenting practices such as guilt, shame, and withdrawal of love. One key difference between authoritarian and authoritative parenting is in the dimension of psychological control.

Both authoritarian and authoritative parents place high demands on their children and expect their children to behave appropriately and obey parental rules. Authoritarian parents, however, also expect their children to accept their judgments, values, and goals without question. In contrast, authoritative parents are more open to give and take with their children and offer more explanation. Therefore, although authoritative and authoritarian parents are both high in behavioral control, authoritative parents tend to be low in psychological control, while authoritarian parents tend to be high.

Learning more about your own parenting style can help you become a more effective parent and raise a more successful child.

Parenting — Comments Off
29
Nov 10

Dealing With Your Teenager and Inappropriate Fashion Trends

If you’re the parent of a teenager, then you know how teens like to keep up with the latest fashion trends. This is understandable, as teens are trying to establish their own identity, outside of identifying with their parents. However, there is the likelihood that some of these fashions may seem inappropriate, even to the most lenient of parents, and especially to those who are more conservative in nature. You don’t really want your daughter in short shorts, or low cut tops, and you probably don’t want your son looking like a thug or hoodlum. Where do you draw the line between your teen dressing in trendy fashions and dressing inappropriately? Perhaps, more importantly, how do you draw the line?

When it comes to dealing with your teenager and the fashion trends you don’t find acceptable, your first reaction may be to lay down the law, and rule with an iron fist. You are the parent, after all, and in your home, your rules must be followed. That’s a fair agreement, isn’t it? However, this sort of philosophy may do more harm than good. Just think back to when you were a teenager. Most likely, you would respond unfavorably to being told how to dress by your parents. That may have worked well as a child, but teenagers want to establish their own independence and identity. The best option is to take a different approach than the authoritarian one.

One of the many cases where you most certainly should speak with your teen about their fashion choices is where those choices could end up causing harm. Many of the teen fashion trends involve wearing clothes that are quite revealing. This can send a dangerous message that your teen is marketing himself or herself sexually. Your teenager probably won’t see it this way, but those who see your child very well may get that message, whether it was intended or not.

In this case, you should sit down and explain your concerns. Let your teen know that there is the possibility that sexual predators may interpret their provocative fashion style as being an invitation to receive attention. Calmly explain that if this is not the message that he or she wishes to send, then perhaps it would be wise to reconsider his or her fashion choices. Taking the time to explain the logical reasons behind your concerns will be more likely to be effective than simply demanding, “You aren’t leaving the house in those clothes.” You may even find that your teenager feels a sense of gratitude that you treated him/her in a more adult manner, and be more compliant with your wishes, realizing that your position on the issue stems from actual concerns for his or her well being.

You and your teenager should also be aware that fashion trends can sometimes change rapidly. What’s in today, may be out in just a few months, never to come back in style. It’s entirely possible that the fashion trend your teenager seems so enamored with, and that you detest so much will be a quickly passing phase.

You could also work together with your teen to look at trends that the two of you can agree upon. There is a wide variety of fashion magazines and online fashion sites that you can explore with your teen to look at alternative trends that may be more acceptable. You can point out things that, whether you appreciate the taste of them or not, are fashions that you would find to be within the confines of what is acceptable. This could also turn into a fun bonding experience, as well as a good way to come to a compromise with your teenager.

One more benefit of finding common ground with your teenager on what fashions are acceptable is that it could reduce friction between your teen and school dress code policy. Just as teenagers don’t like being told “you can’t wear that” by you, they can also resent the enforcement of a school dress code. Schools often prohibit students from wearing certain types of clothing, especially offensive or revealing clothes. Learning to work together with your teen may have the benefit of preventing an issue with school authorities from ever becoming a problem, or resulting in any sort of suspension or disciplinary action.

Taking these few steps to try to cooperate with you teenager instead of ruling your teenager should help reduce the level of conflict that you have between each other. Teens like to be fashionable, but that doesn’t mean that they have to wear things that are inappropriate. By working together, you can help your teenager to understand why it is your duty as a parent to impose a more responsible sense of fashion.

Parenting — Comments Off
20
Nov 10

Your Children Are at Greater Risk of Being Poorer

When it comes to success and money, children are more likely to follow the path of their parents than they are to go a different course. Children of poor parents will likely remain poor, middle class will stay in a similar income bracket, and rich kids will often raise little rich kids of their own.

Though these trends generally hold true, it’s become more likely in recent years that children will often end up in a worse financial position than their parents were in. This is due not so much to lesser incomes, but simply as a result of increased appending, of which credit cards are certainly to blame.

Teaching children the importance of money at an early age and not to take it for granted can instil good traits in them that will carry on into their adult life. Not doing so may pass on the notion that money in unimportant, or that money matters are overly complicated and to be feared, which could leave them with those same feelings through the rest of their live. These are just some of the ways you can teach them the value of money.

Give them an allowance

An allowance is the best way to give them a first-hand taste of money, and the responsibility and potential that goes along with it. There are different allowance types, and each one can have different effects.

These two main types are the gift and reward systems, and both are used at about equal rates in households that give allowances. Both systems work on a system of having regular and routine payments of the allowance, usually weekly or monthly. This lets the child develop methods to make the money stretch between the allowance periods, knowing that no more money will be forthcoming until the next scheduled date, much like the later paychecks they’ll be receiving.

The gift system is basically an allowance that is paid regardless of any other factors, like the reward system. The reward system on the other hand will often pay out for the child successful completing chores, doing their homework, getting good grades, eating their vegetables, maintaining good hygiene, etc. The reward system certainly has its advantages when it comes to giving children a sense of pride and appreciation for their money, but it may not be suitable for younger children. You may still wish to reward them for good deeds, but this can be done on top of the regular allowance, as opposed to it being a requirement for the entire allowance.

Beyond the allowance, you may want to give your child a more in-depth look at how your personal finances work, and slowly let them in on some of the deeper aspects of financing and the importance of investing and saving, plus regular consumer credit checks. You may wish to learn a little more about investing yourself before going too in-depth on the subject, to make sure your own knowledge is up to snuff. Sharing your own financial successes and failures makes the financial process tangible and relatable to your child, completely different from the black and white numbers they’ll go through in math class.

A good combination of a solid allowance system and some personal guidance and tales should set your child on a good path to financial responsibility. It won’t be an easy road, as there are many siren songs of temptation out there, but you’ll have done your part to shut their ears to such raucous melodies.

Parenting — Comments Off
6
Nov 10

For Parents Weary of the Green

Throughout the process of teaching our children about personal finance, parents have the opportunity to learn even more about saving money than the children. This can be highlighted very easily by asking yourself if you can account for all the money you had in hand yesterday. I thought not.

There are subtle ways this erosion of your wallet takes place, taking it from pleasantly plump to Twiggy-like. You must be aware of the techniques and learn to counter them. Let me provide you with some of these tips for parents that are sure to draw some interest.

Number one is to watch for the offer by your teenagers to run errands at the store for you. This is a ruse. They will take your $20, buy your milk and bread, and before it’s in the fridge, they are out the door with the rest of your change – for their convenience.

The second trick of their trade is the “throw the hound off the true dollar amount scent” technique. Check for items thrown in your shopping cart (Get suspicious when they offer to go shopping with you.) that cost $2.50 plus tax, and you are thrown one bill and a lot of pennies along with a question like, “When is the best time to go all the way.” Don’t let it register any surprise. Stay focused or you will end up paying for the remainder of the cost of the item without even noticing. You have gone over that topic enough times and they are banking on your parental concern. After four or five years of this technique, I put a stop to it – immediately!

Lastly, keep a sharp eye and a sharp pencil out for the “keep a tab” routine. This is when they use creative math skills to do some funny figuring of their bogus borrowing and lending transactions at your expense. Look for the same skills honed altering report card grades and parent signatures to show up on their debit and credit line registers. And the more transactions recorded, the harder it is to keep them straight, which is what they are counting on.

If you are aware of this basic financial funny business, and take charge when they try these techniques, you will be more likely to have a wallet with substance and kids on their toes. If not, a part-time job is a good way to keep the cash coming in. I mean them, not you!

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7
Sep 10

How To Keep Connected With Your Kids

Working mothers are often criticized for not spending enough 磓uality time?with their children while having to juggle their job and looking after the home. However with planning, co-operation from their partners and a little creative thinking, there is no reason that working mothers can not keep connected with their children.

What children need is some of your undivided attention. This means focusing your attention on them exclusively while you ask how their day went, listen to any stories they have to tell you, even helping them with their homework. Even if you can only do this for five minutes a day, it will show your child that you are listening to them and that they are important to you.

Extra time with your children can then be combined with day-to-day tasks you need to do such as cleaning, cooking, laundry etc. If you have them help you around the house, you will finish your chores sooner, having more time and energy to spend playing with them. For example:

Get the kids to help you cook the dinner – it will be great training for them and you can talk while you cook!
Assign a household task to each of the kids e.g. making the beds, putting away the clothes – trying to do everything yourself will only ensure you are exhausted and less likely to be a fun mum If you have to do gardening – get the kids to help you.
Not only will you be spending time together, they get fresh air and vitamin D!

It is important you are not seen just as the busy mum who never has time to do the nice things. Often the mother will work all week, then spend evenings and weekends on her second job – the home – while fathers, aunties and uncles get to do all the fun activities. Make sure you also take time out to do something outside of the house, even if it is just going to the park or the cinema.

Planning is also essential to creating those extra five minutes here and there that you can dedicate to your children.

Do a thorough clean of only one room a week in rotation. Dusting, sweeping or hoovering and a quick tidy up of the other rooms in the house will be enough to keep the house tidy if you get everyone to help you.
Plan your menu for the whole week so you only need to go shopping once – hours can be wasted with several trips to the supermarket On Sundays, wash, iron and put aside all the uniforms or clothes the children will wear during the week and the clothes you will wear to work.
How stressful and time-wasting is it frantically trying to find something in the mornings when you are rushing to get the kids to school on time and yourself to work? You want to send the kids off to school with smile on your face, not leaving them with the image of you screaming 磆urry up, we磖e going to be late!?

There are many of these little tricks you can use to steal an extra few minutes that will be better spent with your children, but you need to use those that can be adapted to your particular routine and circumstances.

Guilt often goes side by side with being a working mother but all you need to do is the best that you can. The most important step you have to take before you can make any changes is to realize that you are not superwoman, nor should you have to be!

Babies-Toddler — Comments Off
24
Aug 10

Investigating Jogging Strollers

Nowadays parents are keener to buy a stroller in order to help them in carrying their children wherever they feel. Better still there are nowadays jogging strollers that allow the parents to do their jogging while keeping an eye on their infants. There are a variety of jogging strollers that are available on the market with each of them having their own unique features. Before buying a jogging stroller it is advised to take some time to review the different models that are available.

Buying Jogging Strollers

The type of jogging strollers that will be purchased will depend on where it will be used. For example if you consider using the stroller on a tough terrain then it will be recommended to buy a jogging stroller that will have a larger wheel. In this way the stroller will be able to go through tough terrain smoothly. Alternatively if the stroller will be used on sidewalks then a smaller wheel can be more appropriate. Choosing the right type of wheel can not only provide a more smooth use but also affect the price because the type of wheel can affect the price of jogging strollers.

Another thing to consider when buying jogging strollers is whether to take models with swivel or fixed stroller. Swivel wheels are appropriate for places that need quick turns to be made for example inside shopping malls or apartments. Jogging strollers with swivel wheels will be appropriate for people that need a jogging stroller that they will use for both shopping and jogging. Fixed wheel however is more appropriate for places that do not require quick turns to be made example on running path.

Parents should also consider whether they need shocks on their jogging strollers because this will ensure that children has the most comfortable ride. Shocks will be of paramount importance if the stroller will be used on very tough terrain. It is recommended that shocks are included on your jogging stroller.

Last thing that parents will be interested to note is that jogging strollers should have a reclining seat in order to allow baby to rest whenever needed. There should also be the appropriate security features such as safety harness and head rest in order to take baby on rough terrain.

Jogging strollers is a must for parents nowadays as this will allow them to exercise while keeping an eye on their infants. They should however take time to choose the most appropriate model.

Babies-Toddler — Comments Off
14
Aug 10

Picking Out a Diaper Bag

There are so many diaper bags cropping up lately, it can be hard to know what type will work with your lifestyle. Here are a few tips to think about when considering what to purchase.

When we were picking out a diaper bag, there were two things that we needed it to have. One, my husband did NOT want to carry around a bag that had anything pink or resembling a purse. Two, we needed it to work on plane trips as well as everyday life.

The first thing you want to consider is all of the places you might be taking this bag. Will you mainly be going to Mom’s Groups? Will you be traveling by plane? Do you go places that you will need to take a bunch of things?

Size
This is the first thing you need to think about. How big does that bag need to be? Most people rush out and buy the giant bag that is trendy. Great- if you need a bag that size. We thought about our trips, and how long we would be gone, and realized that even on a big trip, we were only gone from our “stuff” for only about 4-6 hours at the most. This means that the diaper bag needs to hold approximately 4-6 diapers, wipes, Ziploc bags (I’ll get to that in another post), a change of clothing, any necessary bottles, and some toys or books. If you don’t want to have a huge diaper bag, you don’t have to. If you want one, go ahead and have fun with it. Just remember what it is you will need in it, and where you might be going.

Style
If you are a Mom and the primary person holding the bag, you might look into a fashionable bag. There are lots of bags that resemble purses, which you might like. Sometimes it is nice to at least look like you are trying to keep up on the style end, even if you are lugging around a giant bag full of diapers!
If you will be sharing this diaper bag holding responsibility, you need to think about it together. Will you both be comfortable holding the bag for long periods? Sure- the shoulder bags work well for women, but have you ever seen a guy try and hold something over one shoulder that only has 2 straps? Unless it is a book-bag type of strap it seems to be a little awkward. I’m not saying this will happen in every case, but at least ask him if that is a problem.

Comfort
When you are a new parent, you can’t imagine how attached you will become to this one item you buy. How often can you possibly use this? Well- have you noticed people with glasses? Yes- you will be wearing your diaper bag as often as they wear their glasses. It will become part of you. In fact- once you hit the 4 year old stage, you will wonder why you feel naked when leaving the house. Well- you don’t have your diaper bag anymore, that’s why! Make certain that when buying on-line or at a store that it is comfortable. When purchasing online, which we did, read the reviews. What are people saying? Was it comfortable for them?

Washable
This is one thing that when starting out I thought “Yes- that seems like a decent feature, but it can’t be THAT big of a deal.” Well- I was wrong! We purchased a style that looked as though you couldn’t wash it, but in fact was washable, and boy am I glad that we did! I had NO idea just how many times the bag would be thrown up in, and not to mention how dirty all of the bathrooms were that I would have to change my little one in! Yuck! Luckily, I also had a washable plastic changing fold up that came with the bag. That came in handy so many times, and I really felt comfortable knowing that I didn’t have to lay my baby on a thin piece of paper to hopefully prevent any germs from getting to her!

When you use these steps in finding a diaper bag, you will be able to narrow down your search and know that you are picking a bag to last! Our diaper bag lasted for 6 full years, with many washes, and was a cross country traveler along with us. It was so much a part of what I did, that I had a hard time getting back into carrying a purse!

Parenting — Comments Off
26
Mar 10

Does Your Child Need To Go To Preschool?

There is a simple answer to this complex question. No.

Children don’t need preschool to gain admission to kindergarten or to succeed in life. In fact, the wrong preschool experience could potentially set a child back by creating a negative perception of school, learning, and socializing. However the right preschool experience can give a child a head start academically and socially over peers without preschool.

In order to make the right choice for your child you need to look at what a preschool program should do for children. Ideally, preschool should help integrate children socially so they learn about the rules and structures of society in general and school society in particular. In addition, preschool helps students begin a foundation of academic knowledge including literacy, numbers, and culture.

The actual content, focus, and structure of preschool programs varies widely from community to community (and often even within communities) but most programs achieve these two primary goals for students. However a parent can easily accomplish similar goals without the confines of a specific preschool program.

Obviously many families need to arrange some type of day care for the preschool age children and if this is the case then it often makes sense to combine day care and preschool. Children who regularly attend day care programs with other children are less likely to need the social aspects of a preschool education. They likely learned how to play with others, the rules of sharing, and how to follow instructions and other key social lessons. Similarly children who belong to a large family or live in a neighborhood where a group of children regularly interact need less social education than children who do not regularly interact with their peers. Parents can replicate these social situations by seeking out play groups and community activities.

It is fairly easy to create a home preschool program for children. There are packaged curriculums available for purchase, materials available from local libraries, and information available on the internet. You can choose a program created entirely by someone else or create your own individual program to suit you and your child. Some television programs even offer additional material on the internet to supplement programming that would be suitable for a homeschooling project.

A motivated parent can certainly create a quality preschool program for their child that exceeds the results of any professional program. It is simply important to keep in mind your primary goals. What do you want your child to learn? What skills do you want your child to master? Do you simply want to prepare your child for kindergarten or do you have more advanced goals in mind?

The right preschool program can definitely give children a head start on long-term educational success, but not all programs are created equal and sometimes even a wonderful preschool program isn’t right for certain children. Some children may benefit more from spending another year or two in a more nurturing atmosphere, such as home or a small day care. When making the preschool decision it is important to consider the individual child as well as the individual programs available. It is not a one-size-fits-all decision.

Deanna Mascle shares more preschool education advice and tips with her blog Teach Your Preschooler at http://TeachYourPreschooler.info

Parenting — Comments Off
21
Mar 10

Nothing is More Important Then Your Health When Parenting

As a parent there is nothing more important then understanding your health and how important it is to parenting. If you’re not healthy, then your no help to your family and loved ones, you may even become a burden.

I have heard people make comments that the most important part of their life is their family, and that their family even comes before their own health.

Now, without a doubt, your family is very important…nobody is going to argue that fact. There is one aspect of your life that should take top priority, even over your family.

I’m not talking about putting yourself ahead of your loved ones, when medical or other family situations come up. We all have to step up and help out when certain situations arise, sometimes even at the risk of our own health.

I’m talking about not exercising, eating poorly (this includes over-eating, as well as, not eating), smoking, excessive drinking and what ever other bad habits that put our health at risk. To not look after our own health is an act of selfishness. If your health or life for that matter is all messed up, you owe it to your loved ones to clean it up.

If you just need a few minor tweaks, then do it. Put forth the effort necessary to make changes. In truth, you may be able to accomplish personal change on your own, but it could be a rough ride. I like to listen to interviews on Cd’s from the wealth creator a series of powerful interviews with some of the most influential and well known people from around the world. These interviews are with people like Jack Canfield, Robert Kiyosaki, Dr. John Gray, John Assaraf and Brian Tracy and many others.

Most of us have been programmed the wrong way. Take a look at your health and life, right now! Is it the way you always dreamed it would be? If you didn’t say yes, then you and I both need to change.

In our lives, our minds have been trained to think a certain way. We need to be introduced and understand new ideas and concepts that were not available to our parents. We have to be willing to change.

Only through personal change can we make a difference in our own and our families lives.

Hans K Anderson is a father of two who takes parenting very serious. Hans believes that being a better parent involves making changes to create a healthier life both physically and mentally. To make changes in ones life Hans exercises and listens to the Wealth Creator Source daily to learn new ideas and concepts to make these changes permanent.

http://healthcareandbeauty.net/blog/?p=223

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17
Mar 10

Teen Parenting – A Hard Look at Real Numbers

Despite widespread availability of sex education in our middle and high schools, the incidence of teen parenting is still far too common?today.?As raw and unbiased statistics will show, unwed teen parents and their children will face huge hurdles in life and will most likely experience lowered expectations in their health, finances and education.

Health Problems Due To Lack Of Prenatal Care

Due mainly to the lack of proper prenatal care, teenage mothers face higher pregnancy health risks than women who deliver children at a later age, including anemia, pregnancy-related high blood pressure, underweight birth, premature delivery, and even death.

Teen parenting statistics reveal that up to 40% of teen mothers do not receive adequate, high-quality medical care during pregnancy. There is some debate as to whether this prenatal medical care is simply unavailable to these teen mothers-to-be, or the care is simply not actively sought during pregnancy. Without proper prenatal care, many children born to teen mothers come into the world in poor health.

Education Suffers

Alarming statistics show that teen parenting leaves many victims in education as only 50% of teen parents will graduate from high school before age 30. And, the real tragedy is that being a teen parent without even a high school diploma almost guarantees that the teen and her baby will live a life of poverty, dependent upon marginal government handouts as peers progress into adulthood and on to successful families and careers.

Teen mothers are encouraged to stay in school, by way of numerous state and federal programs, and 80% of them do – for a while. Unfortunately, the realities of caring for another life so early in the teen parent’s lives definitely takes a toll, as most will not earn their high school diploma.

Good Jobs Hard To Find

The lack of a quality education due to teen parenting translates directly into difficulties locating and keeping well-paying, steady employment. Without even a high school diploma, the teen parent is doomed to fill mostly low-wage service or light manufacturing positions – jobs that traditionally pay low wages and have high turnover. Even if the teen parent is able to find and keep one of these low-paying jobs, the low wages and lack of promotion to higher-paying positions (due to lack of education) makes it tough to make ends meet.

Due to the consequences of teen parenting, the teen and his or her small family with a job is in a catch-22 position – making too much money to qualify for government help, not making enough to rise out of poverty.

To make economic matters worse, only 10% of teen mothers receive any financial assistance from the father. 40% of teen mothers receive benefits from various government programs, thus beginning (or perpetuating) a vicious welfare lifestyle, that has claimed generations of teen parents, and doomed them to a marginal life of low expectations and government dependency.

One statistic to consider – women who deliver their first child between 20 and 24 years of age statistically have a much better chance of earning a college degree than teen parents, thus almost guaranteeing their lives (and the lives of their children) will not be spent in hopeless poverty.

The Child Of The Teen Suffers

The real victims of teen parenting are the children themselves. These children usually exhibit lower cognitive development (the development of thought processes) than those children of non-teen parents. Due to the poorer socioeconomic conditions these children grow up in, they tend to be underachievers in school and are more likely to not earn a high school diploma than their peers.

Children of teen parents also tend to have sexual relations earlier than their peers, and chances are much greater that these “children of children” will go on to be teen parents themselves.

Some Advice

The best advice? Don’t become a teen parent! There are so many strikes against teen parenting that the teens who do get pregnant in high school never realize just how bad things will get for them – until it actually happens to them.

These teen parents (and their parents) almost never take the unborn life they are creating into consideration – that no matter how much love and attention the child is given, teen parenting’s high costs will be born largely by the child created. And, that child has no choice in the matter – but the teen parent does. Consider adoption as there are many well-qualified two-parent families who will be able to give the child a real chance in life, and break the cycle of teen parenting.

Don’t waste your valuable time scouring the internet looking for parenting advice! Click HERE for help and advice for your family and any parenting concerns!

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