Posts Tagged: self hypnosis

pregnancy — Comments Off
15
Sep 10

Role of Partner in HypnoBirthing

I met Carrie (name changed) in a spiritual bookstore at a friend’s gathering for pregnant moms. Carrie had a shy smiling demeanor and was on her 29th week of pregnancy. Carrie was very happy about her pregnancy, except …she did not have a husband. She made a decision to go on having a baby all by herself, she knew she wanted a baby. She was struggling to make piece with the fact that she has no partner to bring to her HypnoBirthing class.

HypnoBirthing

HypnoBirthing classes are structured to involve a partner. And there is a great valid reason for doing that. First let’s look at a concept of hypnosis.

Hypnosis

Hypnosis is a natural state of focused attention to the exclusion of anything else. In hypnosis, a person finds comfort in various stages of physical and mental relaxation following positive suggestions given by her guide. If she listens to a hypnotic recording, she is following a voice of her hypnotic guide on the recording. However, a hypnotic guide isn’t just any person. It must be a person with whom she has deep rapport, agreement, trust. Such a person is traditionally her husband.

Many modern husbands realized that birth is a natural and normal event in their new family life and is not a medical event. So if there is no emergency, they tend to want to participate and are interested in assisting their wives in the birth of their child. They feel that there is something else they can do, other than just help conceive. Hence, we invite a husband to be present in a HypnoBirthing class to get familiar with the techniques she is learning, in order to better assist her in her birthing.

If it is not a husband, father of the child, who is going to be a birthing partner, for the sake of this article, I am going to refer to the partner as father. This will invite non-traditional relationships to become open to the concept of partner in HypnoBirthing as well.

HypnoBirthing Techniques

HypnoBirthing Techniques are simple and easy. Just like with any techniques, the key to success is practice. In order for a HypnoBirthing mother to have a successful HypnoBirthing birth, provided all other areas check out as healthy, first of all, she needs to be open to the opportunity that it is possible. And then practice. At home, in class, instilling the habit of using hypnosis for creating her future, creating relaxation, creating unchallenged and peaceful birth. She also needs someone to guide her on that path of learning and practicing. Here is where her partner comes in handy.

Role of Partner

Her hypnotherapist is not usually available to be with her at birth. She can take a cd with a hypnotherapist voice guiding her with positive suggestions and affirmations for birth. Sometimes, listening to a cd becomes irrelevant during birth. So unless her doula is a HypnoBirthing practitioner as well, and can serve as a hypnotic guide, or she does not have a doula, the mom needs her partner to whisper the hypnotic instructions to her during the birth.

This is a function of mother’s birthing companion.

Birth with HypnoBirthing

Celia (name changed) wanted a natural and unassisted birth. She insisted that she is healthy and her body can do the work. She practiced with her partner at home and in class. She started her HypnoBirhting classes in her 20th week of pregnancy. She diligently did all that homework. This includes the reading of the textbook, the listening to the 2 cds, the writing down of her birth plan, some physical exercises, practice of positions, in addition to hypnosis practice, all required by the curriculum. This helps each of them install new skill and behaviors to facilitate the birth experience.

When she went into labor her husband was constantly with her using hypnotic techniques and positive language to help her relax, open and bear down. From time to time her husband instructed her to follow the sound of his voice and gave her hypnotic instructions. Those are the instructions he learned in class. She gave into that familiar and lovely guidance she had gotten accustomed to following.

She had a quick labor. With HypnoBirthing, her husband was giving her hypnotic instructions, but she was not a zombie, not laying helplessly, not needing to cope with pain, which she had none, not motionless. Instead, she was active in her labor. Even though in a birthing trance, she was able to communicate clearly and easily with her partner all her desires to change positions, walk, or take a bath. All natural behavior of a woman in the final stages of pregnancy.

She had her baby girl in 6 hours. Her surges were soft and smooth as if mild cramps. She was happy that she could do it – achieve the type of birth that she wanted, without outside help and solely with her husband. Together they created their own beautiful loving HypnoBirthing birth.

What were those instructions he was giving her?

Hypnosis Techniques for Partner

Hypnosis techniques for partner are simple. Start by connecting with your heart, and find the place where love resides. Then let that love come through the sound of your voice. Direct that love to softly flow toward your wife and your baby, connect with them. Add strength to your voice showing the willingness and readiness to take the responsibility and make it a safe and comfortable experience for mother and baby. Then add the instructions for desired effect, be it relaxation, calmness, breathing, etc.

Importance of Practice

At first father is very unsure of himself in this role. When asked to read the material to the mom, in class, his voice trembles and he seems very tentative, even though the text is simple and clear. I once asked a dad why he is so unsure. He said that all of it is so unknown that he wishes he had that text at home to practice and prepare. To which of course, guess what I said, You got it! From now on and until the birthing time, you are the hypnotist for your wife. Learn the techniques and practice. Because of all voices on earth, if it isn’t mom’s voice the baby wants to hear, it’s dad’s!

How to Practice

Practice in class is a supervised practice in a couples format. At home couples practice both separately and together. Mom practices her own skills and dad practices his, and they practice together as well. More often than not, moms are more diligent in practicing, listening to cds, reading, researching, rehearsing and practicing hypnosis for self. Dads feel that providing for the family is more important and often forget to practice. Then comes labor time his voice is needed there. The HypnoBirthing curriculum requires practicing together is the environment of love and mutual bonding. At home, read scripts to each other, rehearse the voice and modulation, memorizing the language of the scripts and learning to let go and let the imagine soar high. At first practice in the quiet safe comfort of your home, at your own pace and at your own time (but make time to practice!) According to Mickey Mongan the author of the HypnoBirthing method, it is also useful to practice peaceful behaviors and deep hypnosis in a crowded place with loud noises, where the mother can acquire the skills of quick and deep disconnect from the environment in simulation of when it is not conducive to peaceful progress of her labor (like bustling hospital.)

Testimonial from a Mother

Last week I heard from a HypnoBirthing student-mother making last minute preparations for her labor. A week earlier at her last sonogram one of her twins was in a wrong position threatening to create a necessity for a cesarian delivery. She called her HypnoBirthing professional for help to make her baby turn. In twelve hours after her hypnotic session the baby turned into the correct position. Now both of her babies were head down and ready for birth. She was excited and wrote: “This couldn’t have been done without the power of mind. I believe.” She was given a script for her partner to practice in preparation for her birthing.

Conclusion

Within the framework of the process of HypnoBirthing the partner plays a crucial pivotal role. Partner plays the role of the hypnotist as in a classic hypnotist-client relationship. It is the partner’s responsibility to occupy the conscious mind of the mother and direct and lead her so that her body can easily deliver the baby. Fearlessly and confidently the HypnoBirthing partner uses the techniques of HypnoBirthing to create a safe and comfortable experience for the birthing mother.

Carie, who did not have a partner, had practiced with her best girl friend.

Parenting — Comments Off
19
Mar 10

The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Kids is Confidence

Confidence is a skill, it is a meta-ability and it is something which we think of as learned naturally through experience. Most people do not realize that it can also be learned intentionally, just as you can choose to learn to speak a different language, or sport, or anything else which is taught in schools. Confidence can also be learned at any age, although we tend to think that once we are older that we are stuck with “how we are” in terms of confidence.

When we are younger, our minds are like sponges, soaking up lessons and experiences alike, making sense of this sensory input and storing feelings and associated beliefs. In short, we make decisions about ourselves through such lessons and experiences. The question I often ask is why mental skills are not taught in schools? Because in learning how to be confident you will cope well with anything in life. It underpins subsequent experiences, because the reality is that we see in life what we expect to see. Our expectations create our reality. As you approach something with confidence, you expect to succeed and so this is what happens.

You may ask how such mental skills can be taught. You may argue that confidence is a feeling and not a mental skill. But everything in life begins with a thought. Thoughts are what create feelings and these in turn create the reality which you then experience. Because all this happens in the blink of an eye we are usually not aware that it was in fact a thought which started this ball rolling. Your underlying thoughts may be conscious but are more often rooted in the subconscious.

Therefore there is something else which underpins the learning and assimilation of mental skills which build confidence, and this is the ability to access one’s subconscious mind. When young, your subconscious mind is naturally open to suggestion and so you learn things easily; there is no barrier of preconceived ideas and beliefs which can so often get in the way of learning. When older one has to get past the critical aspect of the conscious mind and in effect “get out of your own way” in order to open your mind to new possibilities.

Hypnosis is a normal and natural state and allows access to the subconscious mind. Thus, no matter what age you happen to be, you can access your subconscious thought processes and change them easily and quickly.

There are many mental skills which together create a feeling of security and confidence. You can learn to step forwards, and fully experience a situation with confidence. You can learn to step back and dissociate from situations which would otherwise be uncomfortable. You can learn to mentally rewind past experiences and replay them in a different light. You can, quite literally, learn to “see things from a different angle”, or see things through “rose tinted spectacles”, you can learn to use your imagination to see pleasant movies in your mind’s eye instead of the horror movies we are prone to create!

Let’s elaborate a little here. Imagine that you are afraid of blushing or shaking when public speaking…your speech is two weeks away and you are working on it and each time you think about it images involuntarily pop into your mind. Are you more likely to see yourself smiling and happy and enjoying yourself, or shaking and sweating and stumbling over your words? This is what I mean by horror movies. And a picture is worth a thousand words in terms of the impact upon your psyche and subsequent feelings…and paves the way to a reality you just do not want to happen.

So now you can see the value in learning how to access your subconscious mind and picture what you DO want to happen instead of what you do not want to ensue. I’m sure you can think of many situations in which you would benefit from being able to control and direct your own mind, perhaps in taking your driving test, going for an interview, overcoming fears of spiders, lifts or flying. The list of things which you can direct and control, so long as you have learned the relevant mental skills, is innumerable.

The most important thing in life is confidence. With confidence you can achieve anything. You can access hypnosis downloads to create a real feeling of confidence (and pave the way to success) easily and inexpensively. I appeal to you, don’t just buy the latest trainers and fashion items for your kids; Buy them real and lasting confidence and therefore pave the way to their success with hypnosis confidence downloads.

Roseanna Leaton, specialist in hypnosis downloads for hypnosis confidence.

With a degree in psychology and qualifications in hypnotherapy, NLP and sports psychology, Roseanna Leaton is one of the leading practitioners of self-improvement. You can get a free hypnosis download from the website and peruse her extensive library of hypnosis downloads for hypnosis confidence.