Posts Tagged: troubled teens

Parenting — Comments Off
18
Mar 11

Helping Teens With Troubled Youth Programs

It has been observed that more and more parents are finding it hard to keep their young ones in check especially when they reach the adolescent years. There are numerous reasons that may cause a teenager to deviate from the normal expected course of development and tread off on a deviant path. In such cases they become a source of pain and suffering for the entire family while living in a state of constant self-torture themselves.

What parents need to understand is that the emotional tangles that their teenage child is caught up in are genuine. Their misbehavior and rebellious attitude is not without reason. Although there is no justification for bad behavior against parents but if a youth has developed such an attitude due to whatever reasons it is imperative to grab hold of the situation before it becomes a permanent way of life for the individual.

It is true that at times parents need to use the iron fist rule. Parents may even prescribe punishments and put restrictions on the teenager but in certain situations these things only aggravate the negativity in the youth. Rather than being overwhelmed by the situation parents should seek other alternatives that can curb their teenager from falling deeper into the deep dark valleys of despair.

Finding the right alternative

The alternative exists out there and it is only a matter of finding it for parents. As parents you will have to take the initiative as well as make the final decision of enrolling your child in one of the troubled teen programs that have been set up for the purpose of bringing about a behavior modification in rebellious teenagers.

Although many parents feel embarrassed of doing so there really is no reason for them to feel this way because firstly they are not alone and secondly the decision that they will be making is out of the genuine concern they have for the well being of their child.

By handing the youth over to the professionals, parents can rest assured that he will be receiving exactly the kind of treatment that will help him get rid of the negative attitude and develop a positive outlook towards life. For this purpose the child will be required to become part of an outfit which calls upon him to work as a member of a team with other troubled teens. Each child receives individual attention as well and an independent track record for each student is maintained.

By setting them up in groups and making them follow a preplanned schedule the programs subtly instill the sense of responsibility and mutual cooperation in the youngsters. Not surprisingly the different centers that offer such troubled youth programs have produced excellent results and it has been observed that troubled teens find it much easier to get out of their tangles through the help of such institutions.

The end result is that the teenager passes through the various stages of mental and moral development at an accelerated pace. On returning home the once rebellious teenager is a self conscious and responsible individual who fits right in the family being a source of comfort and happiness rather than frustration and sorrow.

Parenting — Comments Off
16
Feb 11

Help For Teens – Because Screaming Only Leaves You With a Sore Throat

Help for teens is something a lot of well-to-do parents will have to deal with so if you’re the parent of a tween, enjoy it while you can. The Hanna Montana pajamas and the “my dad is great” chants will quickly be replaced by chants of “Daddy, you can’t tell me what to do!” When my oldest seventeen year old daughter gets upset and emotional, her voice will rise three octaves. These shrill notes will make the hairs on the back of your neck stand at attention and they are a sure sign a heated argument is about to follow. One heated argument in particular, her voice was so high that it was capable of breaking wine glasses, and once again it was over the usual–boyfriend problems. Boom, boom, boom is the sound she made as the heel of her feet alerted everyone in the house that she was not happy that I threw her boyfriend out of my house (again). As he was going out of the door, I noticed her face boil over with frustration, resentment, and bitterness.

It was is at this point I could feel the temples in my head start to bang like bongo drums. These arguments lead me to search for answers. I Googled “help for teens”, talked to my mother, and read books on the subject. The answers didn’t come immediately–the fights continued. If I notice the oncoming train wreck before “collision”, I may be able to avoid it by counting to ten, although sometimes I have to extend this to the count of 20. More often than not, this run away train described as a 5′1, 121lbs, sweet, and innocent teenager will smash head on into what’s left of my parenting acumen. And so I found myself needing help for my teenager.

After Mr. Perfect, also known as the boyfriend was pulling out of my driveway she started throwing verbal punches–”Daddy, I don’t never want to do anything with this family again!” That harsh, sharp, acrimonious blow to the belly was preceded by my innocent question of ” does anyone want to play Monopoly? Shortly after that, she went into a full nuclear meltdown about how life was unfair, about how I don’t understand her situation, about how much she loves him, and then came the statement that all parents dread-”I’m leaving here as soon as I can.” After trying my best to calm her down by explaining to her that I don’t have anything against her boyfriend besides he eats all my food, spends a great of time horizontally on my couch barefooted, uses my expensive laptop, and he destroys my grass by driving on the curb (besides all this he a great kid)

Although I would to wake up tomorrow and hear that he all of a sudden decided to move to China–I know that’s wishful thinking. She loves him, so with tongue in check, I love him. For this reason I must watch my words carefully with him, because his perceived love of 1.5 years is more than 18 years of unconditional love from me. I’m not resentful, for I know this is common. I’m like the majority of well to do parents: I want what’s best for my daughter, I want her to get a good quality education, I want her to meet a good guy and get married, I want her to have a nice car, and maybe 2.5 kids. But somewhere along the long windy road of parentville, I lost it! I lost the magic. While I try to figure out where I lost it, how I lost it, and the big one-can I get it back? I have learned to deal with what comes my way with calmness of a mountain.

I’ve learned to look at the man in the mirror and to control my own reactions. One thing that she has taught me is to not try and run her life. Running her life isn’t an option. I’ve learned that I should provide her with guidance and to lead by example. We are not our kids; their mistakes are not our mistakes. It took me a long time to get my current realization.

Help for teens — there are tons of information out there on the subject. But where it starts is on the inside. As parents we must understand that it is our wisdom that will guide us through. Our teens will follow our lead, but it is up to us to lead.

Parenting — Comments Off
17
Sep 10

3 Tips on Managing Defiant and Aggressive Behavior in Teens

A friend of mine has been working with defiant and aggressive teens for years. Adam Jones is the president of the Harbor House Foundation, “a ministry dedicated to the health and well being of parents and students.”

Through the years of working with struggling and aggressive youth, Adam learned very important truths for managing defiant and aggressive behavior in teens. I had the privilege of corresponding with him a couple days ago. I asked him, “If you had to choose, what are the top 3 ways that a parent or guardian can manage a teen’s aggressive and defiant behavior?”

Over the next couple of weeks, we will get more in depth on how these tips or strategies play out in your home. Here are the 3 valuable tips:

The Parent Should Always Control Themselves

Conversations and arguments WILL get out of control with your teen if you are not controlling yourself. A lot of the time, or most of the time, adolescents push their parent’s hot buttons. For some it is intentional, and for some it isn’t. Some teens act defiant and rebellious simply to inspire a reaction out of you. As a parent, you cannot react to your teen or their rebellious behaviors.

If you are always arguing with your teen, or if you lose your cool because your teen is openly defiant, you have just taught your teenager that it’s OK to behave that way. Whether you see it or not, your teens look to you as an example, even if their harsh words don’t say it.

The Parent Needs to Recognize the Signs of Potential Aggressiveness in Their Teen

We’ll break this down in future articles so that you will be able to fully understand the signs of aggression. Briefly, recognizing the signs of potential aggression in teens is often referred to as WAVE: wind up, agitation, verbal abuse, explosion.

If the Parent is the Source of the Problem, They Need to Remove Themselves

If the parent is not controlling themselves, and if the parent is instigating, this will cause a teen’s behavior to be aggressive, defiant, and rebellious. An instigating parent is the worst ingredient for managing aggressive behavior in teens. Adam also provided three points of focus for this one tip. We will study them soon.

Those points are prevention, intervention, and post-vention.

Parenting — Comments Off
28
Mar 10

Tips to Recognize the Signs of Aggressive Teens

More times than none, aggressive teens are not having a need met. This need that is not being met usually shows itself after the need has gone not met for too long. Don’t worry, it isn’t too late to address the need and to begin growing and nurturing that relationship with your troubled teen.

You are now hopefully asking, “Well what need does my teen have right now that I can’t see?”. Or, “How can I meet this need that they have?”. Big questions are great, because they require big answers. For starters, all parents who are parenting aggressive teens, whether single, married, divorced, etc.., need a value system that their family abides by. Do you have one? Good. No? You need to figure out what your family values.

To learn or identify your family values, start by asking yourself what your rules are. Once the house rules are identified, ask yourself why? The answer is your value. These values need to be communicated and understood. For example, why should your teen clean their room? Cleaning the room is the rule, but what value is being supported? Could it be that you don’t want cockroaches crawling on your floor? You don’t like the smell of a dirty room with leftovers sitting everywhere? Chances are, your teen doesn’t want insects everywhere too. So cleaning the room is in support of a family value of not have bugs crawling through the whole house.

Identify the need. Maybe your teen wants to see their parents interact respectfully. Maybe your aggressive teen picked up their behavior from somewhere and they don’t know how to handle their anger and they become hostile. You teen’s consequences probably aren’t working, because the only reaction your teen knows, is to become aggressive.

You can communicate with your teen and teach them new ways of interacting, new ways of dealing with disappointment, discouragement, and anger.

Find resources for parenting Troubled Teens and learn how to manage a teen’s aggressive behavior.

Parenting — Comments Off
3
Mar 10

10 Fabulous Reasons Why Troubled Youth Need Military School

When it comes to handling troubled teens, the public school system is not that well equipped. More often than not, many parents seek help from military schools in order to educate and discipline their derailed youngsters. Recently, military schools, which seemed to get out of the scene in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s, have started to be crowded with enrollees steadily.

Nowadays, its hard to make a teen get into a military academy. But why the boom of military school enrollments? Here are the 10 reasons behind this phenomenon:

1. Military Schools Have Become More Choosy

It’s not that military schools, boot camps or any military-oriented programs used to be very undiscriminating back then. Only, nowadays, when a teen is overly unruly, a military school is most likely to not admit the youngster. This is because military programs are not leaning towards the forcing of teenagers to “clean up their act” if they, themselves don’t really want to.

2. Military Schools Are Now More Geared Towards Imposing Proper Discipline to a Child

Traditionally, military schools are definitely known to be the house of disclinary actions in molding youth. Today, modern and more effective methods have been developed to improve the administration of proper discipline to teenagers. Teens will be subject to strong discipline but this does not entail they will be abused.

3. Military Schools Are Now More Focused in Giving Structure to a Child

The highly structured ambience provided by military schools can help channel the unfocused energies of an adolescent who has not achieved his or her full potential. The structured environment provided by military schools promotes the values of organization and self-management.

4. There are Military Schools that Offer Academics

They offer stringent and modernized academic program for the modern needs of teeners.

5. Military Schools are Tailored to Best Suit the Needs of a Teen

Teens have individual needs that must be met. This is supported by military schools. Through thorough assessment, military-oriented programs can be customized to best serve what each teenager needs. More and more military schools offer education that fits with smaller class sizes. There are those that provide more opportunities to work one on one with teachers and staff.

6. Military Schools Emphasize Fitness

With emphasis on physical fitness, military schools serve the purpose of being useful for teens whose parents consider to be “couch potatoes”. Through various sports and other rigorous and yet very beneficial physical activities, definitely they will become more skillful and able-bodied than they used to be.

7. Military Schools Don’t Stunt the Social Life of a Teen

In contrary to the dated notion about military schools, positive peer environment exists, which is enforced through honor code. From the very start, a military school is designed to provide a high level of comradeship. With a military school, a social life is possible without the distractions from the outside. This way cadets can do better in and out of the classroom, which leads to their academic success.

8. Military Schools Help Motivate Teens to Become Matured, Responsible Citizens

With a disciplined and structured context that is both physically and emotionally healthy, cadets are motivated to develop self-discipline and also to reach their full potential in every way – physically, intellectually and spiritually.

9. Military Schools Aid in the Moral Molding of Teens and the Learning of Other Important Values

Military-oriented programs are enhanced to provide good values, particularly those that will teach teenagers to have a dignified moral stance. Aside from leadership, discipline, and accountability, what could be more important than being able to inculcate solidarity and respect to a teen, not only for his superiors but also to his equals.

10. Military Schools Provide Other Long-Term Benefits

More benefits are offered to teenagers who came from a military school. Because of the values and skills learned, when teens have experience going through military school, the community is more inclined to giving them better consideration when it comes to employment, e.g., military jobs, and other community activities.

With these reasons, who can go wrong with going to a military school?

Mary Murtha has BLS and M. Div degrees majoring in biblical studies and ethics. She is an accredited author and publisher who started in the IM business in 1998 and started back up in Feb 2005. Her main passion is content and its availability. She has 18 sites that are specific niches. You can read about the youth and Military st: http//[http://www.militaryezyinfo.com]

Mary’s main web site is The content Corner, an Article Distribution Center that recently opened at: http://www.thecontentcorner.com

Parenting — Comments Off
7
Feb 10

Does My Child Need Therapy?

Today, it is hard to determine if you should be providing child therapy to your child. It is very difficult for parents to think that there may be a problem with their baby. After all, up until the teen years hit, they allowed you to take care of them. They told you when things were not okay. You dealt with their needs throughout their life. But, now, you need to wonder if you should be providing teen therapy for them. To really know if your child needs help, ask yourself these questions.

What has changed about my child that has me concerned? If you are worried about their physical health, there is no doubt that you would recommend that they work with a doctor, right? So, if it is their emotional health that may be a problem, you need to get them the teen therapy they need.
Does your child have problems with eating, socializing or does he have behavior problems at school? Acting out in any of these areas is not normal. If your child is having problems, especially at school, child therapy can help.

Do you know that your child is drinking, doing drugs, engaging in sex, or is depressed? If you know this is the case, there is no doubt you need to get them into teen therapy before these circumstances ruin their lives. If you know about it, then it has probably gotten far out of hand.
Do you want them to have the best ability to make the right choices? Even if you do not feel your child has any problems, teen therapy can help to encourage things to stay that way.

Child therapy can be a blessing for a child. Even if they hate it and do not want to go, it can help them to realize that you care about their well being. It will help them to know what to do and how to react in their lives. Hearing from another adult what is right or wrong helps to strengthen their understanding and their belief in you. Teen therapy should not be a punishment then, but a way to get your child to safety.

Resources:
Help with Parenting Troubled Teens
Family Therapy Directory
Therapists for Teens Q&A